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OpinioNet Contributed Commentary - Andrew Carlan, Esq.
January 31, 2002
Catholic Lawyers Choose Dirty Lucre Over Their Immortal Souls
The BBC asked "Should Catholic lawyers refuse divorce cases?"
Why just Catholic lawyers? Besides, why are Catholics doing the devil’s business by being lawyers? Think of it. Thousands of lawyers out of work and judges, too. The courts would be tapping their fingers for nothing to do. Even Britain could get on the fast track.
Oh! wait I am lawyer. Shows how pathetic senility is, especially in a lawyer. No one, not even lawyer feels sorry for himself. Lawyers just don’t have feelings.
The Pope suggested Catholic lawyers either look alive to Catholic doctrine on the family or join Father Robert Drinan in his ever evolving non-standards that makes Unitarianism look orthodox.
The BBC then wanted to know my reaction to the Pope’s comments?
More power to him if he can save the herd and round up some cattle thieves in the process.
Lastly, and a bit dishonestly, the BBC wants to know if the church should get involved in the legal process?
Why not, the legal process gets involved in the Church. Democracy is a two-way process. Even if one concludes that the Pope’s idea is idiotic, why should government have a monopoly on idiocy. Let everyone compete.
Would the BBC ask whether it is fitting for the Hemlock Society to stand on Main Street pitching it’s cup of poison. But apparently, its not o.k. for the Catholic Church and other religious and private associations to the right of Madness. They are required to stay undercover. Show me where it says that in the U.S. Constitution? No, not Supreme Court decisions. They are like the Bible. You can find anything you are looking for there.
Kant tried to be positive. He kept repeating, "I can, I can and sure enough he got the little engine over the hill." He said "Act so your action could (not will) become universal law." Just because you eat like a pig don’t mean you’re obliged to promote sloppy table manners. Divorce should be like masturbation. Divorce yourself using a do-it-yourself book. Unless you’re a movie star, nobody’s interested.
I think the BBC really goes over the hill when it quotes Mussolini that a bad marriage is worst for children than a good divorce. Mussolini, a role model! He should have taken his own advice and divorced Italy as quick as the papers could be drawn up. Who cares what that opera buffo dictator had to say on any subject except how to work up the courage to rape Ethiopia?.
The danger of hypocrisy lurks in any morality debate. I have been divorced forty-three times and from the same woman. But the French philosophe François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld wrote "Hypocrisy is one the tribute vice pays to virtue." Hypocrisy is far more disinterested than conscience. It openly acknowledges that there is no point wasting time and money if the accused is going to be his judge and jury.
"Anyone out there really believe that Hitler, Stalin and Bin Laden weren’t following their conscience, raise your hand, Well, hello there, Marquis de Sade."
You hire conscience when you need an attorney. I’m available. For enough money I will argue any case you wish and even explain away all your contracts after you’ve taken all the juice out of them and left only the rind.
The Pope’s timetable is not unlike Astronaut Neil Armstrong’s. When Armstrong stepped onto the moon he signaled back to earth "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Even for Christ’s Vicar, a tottering civilization can’t be propped up in a day.
Andrew E. Carlan
You can e-mail your comments to Andrew at acarlan@optonline.net.
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