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OpinioNet Contributed Commentary

OpinioNet Contributed Commentary - Andrew Carlan, Esq.

March 21, 2002

Andrew Carlan, Esq.

The Laughing Lawyer
Isn’t Amused

An Open Letter:
"On The Advantages Of Political Action"


To all fathers rights organizations, fathers, men without children, conscientious women, confused young people.

Preface: Explanation of Notes

In previous articles, I’ve joked about legal footnotes. They are like having a friend vouch for you. They merely look good. But I realize that they have a use. Some point may be important in itself or to make something clearer. But it interrupts the flow and weighs down the argument. I have two chooses. Leave it on the cutting room floor or give the reader an option to go to it as a footnote. Sometimes, I do the latter.(1) These are clickable footnotes.

THE PROBLEM

Do you want to play with elliptical billiards? Persist in your legal action once you’ve predictably been had. Or would you rather have half a chance? Go after the politicians!

"There aren’t fifty people doing anything. That is the movement’" said a long-time fathers’ rights leader. I’m thinking to myself, things are never so bad that they can’t get worse. If fifty people make all that noise, then make it in a different direction. If divorce and loosing custody are inevitable, you don’t have to buy the canoe and follow the law’s guidance to go over the rapids.

You don’t have to make a personal appearance(2). It will disappoint all your enemies.

FEMINISTS AS A FRONT: IT ISN’T JUST FATHERS

The feminists have inflated our numbers. They inflate all numbers. I use the following adage often. It sums up so much circulating bull so economically.

She uses statistics the way a drunk uses lampposts -for support rather than for illumination. --attrib. to H.L. Mencken

They are not only dopey, they are fit for an asylum. This is not a case of misunderstanding that patience and repeated reason will resolve. Do not debate them. Your sanity hangs in the balance.

Reasoning with a child is fine if you can reach the child’s reason without destroying your own. --John Mason Brown (1900-1969)

They are literally evil in the same sense as the Nazis and Communists They rejoice when a father who loses his child commits suicide. They laugh when you think making known their unspeakable deeds is waking anyone up. Everyone already knows or they are too stupid to be understand. The remainder are either indifferent or scared.

Feminists aren’t as bright as we make out. The large Washington law firms, the tax exempt institutions like the Ford and Rockefeller Foundations and the elite corporations like Microsoft and AT&T, largely male, provide the muscle and money for their own purpose. Why? To destroy the family and make us all interchangeable parts in a dull world without passion, freedom or sunlight.

Feminist political correctness controls what we know and worst what we don’t. Their power hangs on their connection with "elite" universities. These faculties fancy themselves fearless freethinkers. They showed contempt for Senator Joseph McCarthy. But they ganged up on him. Now these same academics--the insiders--are telling us how we may think and act. Don’t laugh. They have the Supreme Court on their side. Now is the time to be scared of dissenting, not during the Fifties. The intellectual elite harasses independent professors and ruins their reputations and careers.

THE COURTS AS INSURMOUNTABLE

Some men think they have the legal establishment on the run. In the same breath they lament that judges make up the law as they go along. How can it be both ways?(3)

There is no way out with the Courts. The Supreme Court is every bit as corrupt as family court. Look at Bush v. Gore. The Founders foresaw such an event as the 2000 presidential election. They arranged it be left to Congress. But our servants-turned-masters wanted Bush and so we have him.

Judges can put in you jail for looking at them the wrong way. The law doesn’t give politicians such power. In fact, everyone makes a butt of politicians. The political playing field is more even.

The majority of judges with a few rare geniuses are dead before they are appointed. Otherwise they’d go through hell in Senate confirmation. They believe in nothing but the technicalities of the law. They have never written or said anything unambiguous, that could latter pin them down, that would suggest they are warm-blooded mammals. Then they fossilize more in their stratospheric isolation. Imagine spending a lifetime with no one but eight other overaged gods who made up a rule that they can’t discuss in public anything controversial that their fellow citizens are most worked up over. What is true of the Supreme Court in the extreme is true of all federal judge. They are appointed for life. It is even true of state judges where elections are empty shows in which rules of their own making prohibit debates on issues facing the courts. Sitting judges have no real opposition. The establishment, legal, communication, corporate and academic think this is good.

And yet the Supreme Court and the lower courts still blow with the wind. They are not detached. The feminists have a hold over them as they does the press. They, after all, are the demented forefathers of diversity. Diversity is turning the cream of this nation into skim milk.

The justices actually imagine themselves instant experts on the physics, psychology, physiology and neurology of golf. Why shouldn’t they also take for granted they know better than those who are expert in any branch of knowledge? Our intellectuals laugh at the doctrine of papal infallibility but worship at the feet of the Supreme Court.

Judges are not candidates for conversion. You win only if they agreed with your position before you brought your case.

WHEN ALL YOUR CHERISH LETS YOU DOWN

I appreciate why our fellow fathers resist my cynicism with the law. To stop loving, to lose faith is crippling. It is terrible to stop loving one’s wife even if she betrays you, to cut off two-faced "friends," to recognize that your government or religion judged by their deeds no longer take the words they use seriously. This is true of the entire Republican establishment.(4)

This is not the forum to go into the seedy origins of feminism. It is enough to know that feminism is working towards a widespread collapse of belief in our civilization, our religions, the family as the framework of society, etc. that leaves only the coercive power of government.(5) But:

It is dangerous to fight every ill of a dying culture. It divides those who should be united against one common enemy. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

THE SOLUTION
SMALL GROUPS AMBUSH

You are fighting the wrong war, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why? Because you are fighting on their terms. If your numbers are small and you are fighting on the enemy’s turf, you don’t fight in the open. You engage in ambushes.

THE UNGUARDED BACK DOOR

The answer is to organize politically at the very bottom of the political rung, to knock off one unknown incumbent of either party. You only have to knock them out in a primary. Less than a third of those eligible vote in general elections. Nobody votes in primaries. It is the unguarded back door to our whole political system. Get your 50 people to get 100 people to the polls. You win.

When you knock out the incumbent in the primary, your work is done. The party has to sit out the general election. Announce that every year you will pick a random target. If you don’t win the primary, say you’ll keep trying. You only have to win once. The parties have to beat you every time. Those are good odds. The effect will be the same whether you replace a state legislator or a Congressional candidate. But state legislative districts are pint-sized compared to congressional districts. Just a few workers and a couple of dollars can be translated into a big win.

Repeat the low key success the following year. The politicians will come on bended knees to you. Principles and politics are as far apart as the North Pole is from the South Pole.

CLOSE DOWN PR OPERATION

Notoriety can be power under the right circumstances. But silence can be power also. Note that the two most frequently used words in a lawyer’s vocabulary are "no comment." If the media cannot quote you, they cannot misquote you. Feminism is the party line. Don’t run toward the trap. Run from it.

Suppose we can never get the fifty to get a hundred votes? Better to take a dry run. Leave it to the feminists to insure things will get worse for men. These dry runs will create the training ground for the next generation of fathers without a country. It will help things get worse faster. At some point the process reaches the critical mass. All hell breaks loose, not by degrees, but in a moment. The very men who deny their enslavement will be sucked in by the cyclone of events.

Andrew E. Carlan
Farmingdale, New York


Footnotes:

While this article was in writing, I came across another article by attorney Linda Kennedy called Holodeck Law -- Litigation Vortex. The article is associated with Jail4Judges.org but not yet posted. Ms Kennedy can be reached at WBFLegal@AOL.com. Because it is under copyright I cannot republish the article. I can provide this excerpt which may give the reader some idea whether he wishes to contact Kennedy.

Although you now know that your grade school teacher was wrong, there is still something in you that cannot accept it. So you continue in the Vortex. I liken these subsequent filings [appeals] to someone who is a compulsive gambler who only wants to win his money back. His biggest problem is that he has not realized that the odds are against him and that the deck has been stacked. We must not be like that gambler who refuses to accept reality. We must know that in the "Holodeck Law" the odds are against us and the deck is stacked in the Litigation Vortex. In the "Triangle and Two Defense," which I have written, which may be particularly interesting for anyone who has ever played basketball I try to help you learn who your real enemy is. These are not citations but additional commentary to notation.

  1. There are two things wrong with almost all legal writing. One is its style. The other is its content. Fred Rodell, "Goodbye to Law Reviews," Virginia Law Review, 1936

    "Are you studying for an exam?," I asked three young women at the Barnes and Nobles café. They were cramming the rules that supposedly govern contributory negligence in New York tort law. It would not surprise you that it is needlessly complicated.

    I said to them "do you want to get a really good grade?" Such a question is rhetorical. Either they respond "mind your own business" or "sure." "Then see if you can take the contrary position. A quick scan of Westlaw or Lexis may show Court of Appeal cases that didn’t follow their own rule." In fact, the Court of Appeals is so ambiguous in so many areas of the law that they are flip-flopping all the time. The exceptions swallow the rule. Any case you take is a gamble both for you and the client.

    I realized that I asked the question because I had this article unconsciously in mind in addition to seeing whether today’s law students already sensed the law is a veneer. Behind the fake front is utter chaos.

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  2. Congress forced the states to adopt a child support formula so rigid the judge decides almost nothing. Why show up at all? You wouldn’t hire a lawyer to file your income tax. You do the math and hand over the dough. Hiring an accountant might be a good idea, but hiring a lawyer wouldn’t help much.

    Failure to file a federal tax return can be a crime. But you don’t have to show up at the IRS in person. Just pay.

    Why fight custody? You already know the outcome or haven’t you been listening to the wounded who went before you? But you may be surprised that the wife who hates your guts now and thinks that she is punishing you by withholding the children may see it very differently if you don’t rise to the poisoned bait she and her lawyer prepared just for you all with the help of the muzzled press. When it comes to the feminists the National Review is little better than the New York Times.

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  3. Even if you got an Appellate Court to reverse it will do you little good. Your children will be grown up and your assets will be dried up. All judicial victories for the average litigant are pyrrhic victories.

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  4. Those who call themselves our friends and then deceive us are more dangerous than our open enemies. The Republicans exist in our brains. They know how to mimic our language while they kowtow as much to the feminists as the Democrats do.

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  5. The temptation to fight every battle comes daily. One day Justice Scalia announces that any Catholic who is opposed to capital punishment is not qualified to sit as a judge. Supposedly devoutly Catholic Justice Scalia is either an idiot or an opponent of any loyalty that limits an all-powerful State. His contribution to the crazed constitutional law of our time will be to make it almost impossible for someone who does not worship at the altar of the State to be elevated to the federal bench. What an example of the cocaine-like corruptibility of power. He already fancies himself a Medici who would have the power of the Pope also. Don’t rise to every provocation. We have enough work to do.

    For the reader who wishes to explore this aspect of the Court might start Drudge’s accurate, short bulletted outline of the keypoints in Pat Buchanan’s newest book, The Death of the West. Because webpages are dropped so frequently, the surest way to get this outline is to go the Google search engine and type in the search words "Death of the West" Don’t go to the site. Go to Google’s cache. It will be there far longer then on the Drudge site.

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Copyright © 2002 Andrew E. Carlan
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