Positivist Cosmology® is the Laughing Lawyer’s contribution to 20th thought. It is defined as the study of the universe that includes geography, astronomy and consciousness. It redefines meaning from "Why you are" to "Where you are" when anything happens. It is the panacea we have all been looking for. It solves every apparent problem. It represents the solution to the general theory of relativity in that it fully describes or depicts the world or universe as "a full-blown cosmography in which Earth is ’the garbage dump of the universe’" - Mark Muro

Armstrong, 41, of Milford, was unemployed. He was jailed for failing to pay child support when he could have robbed a bank or stolen a old lady’s bag. He was semi-conscious the morning after the incident when his parents picked him up after posting bail at the jail and were told to take him directly to the hospital. Armstrong died three days after his release.

According to the New Hampshire Supreme Court the best way to insure that children are not left destitute is to throw deadbeat fathers in jail. This usually causes the father to commit suicide. In rare cases his keepers murder him because they hate unfaithful fathers. They know from personal experience. One assumes it’s the authorities because the Mafia assured me in an exclusive interview that there is no money to be made in putting out a contract on a deadbeat dad. Whatever, suddenly the marketplace generates as gusher of income for the children where there was only a dry well before.

For this brilliant policy analysis, the former Chief Judge of the New Hampshire Supreme Court received the Nobel Prize in economics in 1975 Later he and three of his buddies on the court were impeached by the state legislature on charges that varied from felonies to "making mistakes." Only judges are given commendations for making mistakes.

New Hampshire authorities changed location when the moved the inmate to Armstrong’s sudden impact with a speeding freight train while in jail. Changing location should immediately set alarm off. It is the most decisive factor according to Positivist Cosmology®. Overloaded and overbearing bureaucracies are generally stupid except when it comes to "changing position." That exposes their collective ass and bureaucracies ALWAYS cover their ass.

"I witnessed Mr. Armstrong being beaten. He was strapped to a chair and beaten," Phillips said, but when pressed--his head in a vise-- conceded he couldn’t see directly into the room.

Now even the press is covering its ass. How many people were staying overnight at this local Holiday Inn extension? It’s not as if the Valley Street Jail in Milford, NH is the New York tombs.

The jail has a restraining chair, but officials say it is only used when an inmate is out of control and poses a danger to himself or others.

All governments thoughtfully take care of us when we are out of control or pose a danger to ourselves. They don’t want us to hurt ourselves. So they do it for us.

Authorities have insisted Armstrong wasn’t beaten at the jail, but say there was a minor incident on the evening of Jan. 14 with a correctional officer that caused Armstrong to fall and hit his head the day before his parents posted bail.

Some professions use the description "minor" more frequently than most. Correctional officer understandably are among its most frequent users. They are the most perfect example of Positivist Cosmology® They come to the problem which for them spells opportunity. Who else would want the job but a sado-masochist? How many people are fortunate enough to get paid for what they would otherwise pay to do.

The few details released by authorities contradict some of the witness’ version of what happened that evening. Phillips said officers dragged Armstrong to a room near his cell with a restraining chair, but officials say the incident took place in Armstrong’s cell.

My breath is taken away that there should be any discrepancy and their mechanical denial especially when they have no reason to be selective with the "the few details released." Does the New Hampshire Mind Reader get public announcements from these official criminals? You betcha.

Senior Assistant Attorney General Mark Zuckerman, who interviewed witness Phillips with an armada of state police armed to the teeth and pointing them at Phillips, said the investigation into Armstrong’s death, including an official cause of death report, is almost complete. In fact, it has almost been complete for a millennium.

"During the collection of some materials..." The minute you read something you don’t understand, you can be almost sure it was drawn up by a government official to avoid finding that unmarked grave.

"That caused Mr. Armstrong to lose his footing and trip backward onto his buttocks and strike his head against the cell floor, The authorities refused to comment because the investigation is incomplete. But they already solved the multiple wounds with what is now known as "the Kennedy One Bullet Theory" And we question the Stigmata. Will miracles never cease?

Hillsborough County Jail Superintendent James M. O’Mara Jr. said "I had no idea who he was, where I am, how I came to be and where I am going. How can I respond to something I’m not aware of?" O’Mara said, breathing on an oxygen machine in Nashua General Hospital while still hoarsely shouting orders to guards on a cell phone, "arrest those sobs. I don’t care what the *&)$ the law says. I am the law."

Some of these upstanding correctional officers have obtained lawyers through their union. They have been cautioned against speaking even to their lawyers. But Donna Lacerte, union spokesman, still knows that their clients do not beat inmates, not everyone anyway. Wait a minute, my staff of 100 investigators are shouting to me. "Oh! really. She did!" Apparently, they tell me this attorney makes a habit of representing Arabs who drive into parking garages to get away from heavy traffic.