Seeing military troops standing around was certainly not very comforting, though. Many were probably not old enough to get into a bar yet and surely none were of age to get a reasonable auto insurance rate. All would have been arrested in a heartbeat for carrying a weapon in public outside the airport. But, there they were, acting like they were ready to corral the traveling public and conquer a civilian airport.

A couple of the PFCs noticed my smile when I realized they were in the very same predicament some of us were in one night on guard duty in France 38 years ago: no bullets. Back then, we were "attacked" when a wild bore with a nasty attitude wandered on base. I was the only one with bullets and all I had was the old Army 45 caliber sidearm.

Neither situation was very comforting. Neither set of "guards" could do much more than attempt a "vertical butt stroke" defense (briskly applying the stock of the rifle to the head).

More recently, we learn that these military people actually get to pick airport visitors for extensive search. That’s even more disconcerting! These solders are basically trained to kill people and break things. They are not trained to play police officer in a busy civilian facility.

Instead of just licensing and regulating airport security personnel, Congress decided to make them all federal employees. That stupid move will be back to bite us all soon. Already, government officials see the futility of that act.

First, the government is attempting to hire security directors for 429 airports within the next few months. That’s nearly impossible, so they farmed the job out to a head hunter company to at least get the nation’s 81 largest airports set up properly. "This is the job from hell," said Charlie LeBlanc, managing director of Air Security International, a Houston-based consulting company. "If you asked me to name 81 people in this country who I thought were qualified for the job, I could name 50." Of those, he predicted only about 20 would actually accept the job.

None of the jobs have been filled yet, spokesman Jim Mitchell said. The position pays between $105,000 and $150,000, the top scale for the federal government.

Meanwhile, the passenger screeners were supposed to be U.S. citizens, have a high-school diploma, and pass a standardized examination. Except, many screeners currently employed do not have a high school education. So, the federal government is considering grandfathering them in anyway. And, what the heck, they can’t fire the foreigners, either. That would amount to discrimination, after all. So, there’s a move afoot to naturalize the foreigners so they can continue working, too. They will not even need to understand English properly to be federal officers with authority over American citizens.

Thanks Congress!

The point is, Congress totally screwed up yet again. What we will have is the very same airport security people working as before. But, this time, they are required to attend a 12 hour class before becoming federal officers.

Comforting, isn’t it. That’s our government at work.

One idiot security officer stopped a Second World War general and wanted to remove his Medal of Honor before allowing the elderly gentleman to board an aircraft. Brighter minds later prevailed. But even so. . . .

Pilots and support personnel are regularly being harassed by these "security officers." Already, there have been numerous complaints from pilots and flight attendants about "inappropriate touching and unnecessary confiscation of personal items." Little old ladies have to give up their sewing kits. Even nail clippers are confiscated -- even though, many times, the passenger can stop at a concession stand after the checkpoint and buy more.

Some airports now have the new type of total body x-ray machine so they can see what you’ve got. And, believe me, they can see what you’ve got, too! It’s almost like taking a nude photo. Oh, and speaking of photos, in at least one airport, passengers scanned are recorded on video tape. We wonder how long it will be before some of that gets on the Internet.

They’ve started making people remove shoes and loosening belts and other clothing now. What is being looked into (really!) is the problem of buxom women and those passengers with an extended posterior. The only way security can ascertain there is flesh, rather than contraband, in there is either to look or x-ray. Most airports do not have passenger x-ray yet, though. So, don’t be surprised if an underpaid federal "security officer," or young military person, "needs a peek and a feel to be sure." It’s happening.

Because these are federal officers, they have complete immunity. The federal "offense" of interfering with the performance of duty of these security officers can get one ten years in the pokey.

Are we feeling secure yet?