FOX News Channel

Ted Turner’s Cable News Network has recently been engaged in a battle with Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News Channel (logo, shown right). Even MSNBC has entered the fray with their recent hiring of Alan Keyes. In the past year, the fledgling FNC has been making great inroads in their desire to overthrow the cable news leader.

In a head-to-head competition for ratings dominance, Fox’s Bill O’Reilly has taken the battle to CNN’s Larry King. Despite O’Reilly’s assault on the King, CNN recently rewarded Larry with a multi-million dollar contract.

I cannot understand CNN’s willingness to give the man big bucks. Except for King’s stint as moderator of the presidential debates, which I thought was excellent, I have found little reason to explain their actions.

In the past year, USA Today wisely chose to drop King’s regular weekly column, which was a depository for some of the most inane babblings ever to find their way into newsprint. He clearly cannot form enough reasonable thoughts on any one subject to craft an entire column. King, with the marital attention span of Elizabeth Taylor, often wrote columns that lasted longer than his brief stints at fidelity.

His columns were a random collection of one-sentence thoughts that could have been written by the average Jerry Springer fan. The following sentence is pretty indicative of the gems of wisdom that Mr. King shared in his columns:

Did you ever taste anything better than a bagel with cream cheese?

Every Monday, a waiting country hungered for King’s opinion on bagels, cream cheese, Hollywood, sports, and fashion. It was a masterpiece of journalistic hogwash.

As difficult as it is to understand CNN’s big contract for Larry King, it is equally confusing to explain FNC’s hiring of Greta Van Susteren and Geraldo Rivera.

Greta Van Susteren was formerly the host of "Burden of Proof," a show that basically lived and died with the O.J. Simpson trial. Susteren may very well be the last person in America who believes that O.J. was innocent of murdering his wife.

And what can you say about Geraldo, the Lothario of investigative journalism? The man who brought us riveting television like the opening of Al Capone’s vault will now be bringing that same empty quality of reporting to Fox News. One can only wonder why a network that prides itself on being "fair and balanced" would hire this pair of journalistic vagabonds.

CNN Morning Anchor Paula Zahn

As the battle raged, we recently saw CNN issue a promo for Paula Zahn’s program that described her as "sexy" and featured the sound of an opening zipper. The ad was quickly pulled from the airwaves and CNN blamed a young female staffer for the mistake.

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to understand what happened here. The ad was not a mistake; it was simply showmanship and a ratings bonanza. It is doubtful that the executives at CNN ever figured on this ad running more than just a day.

The adverse publicity and the headlines it generated were worth several days of coverage. By pulling the ad, CNN was able to claim the moral highroad while still continuing to wallow in the sleaze. It was brilliant!

In the past few years, the major networks have seen their ratings plummet on their nightly news programs. Biased reporting is largely responsible for the ascension of cable television news.

The formula for success at Fox News has been to avoid the arrogance and excess of CNN. However, with their recent additions, it appears that "fair and balanced" is increasingly being traded for "more of the same."

Perhaps FNC cannot stand its newfound prosperity. But as they say at Fox, "We report; you decide."