In any case we thought the time was right to repost this:

STOP THE ASSASSINATION!!

FLASH!!

It sounds like a science fiction story, but we have just discovered that scientists and engineers at the Weizmann Institute in Rehovot have succeeded in constructing a working time machine. This machine allows people to travel in time and indeed carries the potential of intervening in history and altering the tract of historic events.

But even more amazing is the fact that the machine has ALREADY been used. Indeed it was taken over surreptitiously one night this past spring by a group of burglars, all from leftist parties and organizations in Israel, who put the mechanism to its first real working test.

The details are only now coming out. But it turns out that world events in 1941 were actually changed by these time explorers from the Left.

From what we now know, in the original version of events, Adolph Hitler was assassinated in his offices in Berlin by a lone British fighter plane shooting two missiles through the window and killing him and Eva Braun instantaneously. The Israeli leftist time travelers decided this should be the focus of their experiment in changing historic narrative.

"Hitler is a politician and not a military figure," insisted Yossi Beilin, the leader of the time travelers. "Hence it is not legitimate for him to be targeted for assassination. We must do everything to stop the attempt on the lives of political figures and civilians." Besides, if he dies, the demographic situation will change with Israel’s Jewish population being millions larger, and under those circumstances peace with the Palestinians will NEVER be achieved!"

"We agree entirely," added Yossi Sarid. "Hitler’s life must be preserved because even if he is not a bona fide peace partner as of 1941, he certainly is a potential one for the future. If he is killed, then only the true radical Germans will remain."

"Not only that," added Ron Cohen. "The Germans may behave badly but it is our responsibility to teach them the meaning of humaneness by preventing this assassination. In response they will doubtless agree to open negotiations at once. But if the assassination takes place, the floodgates for barbarism and bloodshed will be opened."

"I do not know about you," said Dr. Ilan Pappe from the University of Haifa, "But I would be willing to give my own life to protect that of my GOOD FRIEND Adolph. The solution is to help the Nazis promote the German narrative of events and stop following the blind lead of that imperialist and capitalist Winston Churchill."

The group was given its blessings by the cabinet of the Likud-Labor government, which agreed that assassination of the political elite and of civilian leaders should definitely never be general policy followed. The newspaper Haaretz urged the time travelers to take decisive action to prevent the assassination of the German civilian leader and to remove all British settlements from occupied territories on the Channel Islands. The other Israeli papers warned of escalation and of vengeance from the crazed Germans if Hitler’s death is not prevented. The Americans demanded that the time travelers take action at once, because there is evidence a family of Germans with US passports were staying in a lower floor in the building in which Hitler was to be assassinated.

"Churchill is behaving just like the Emperor Nero or like Ariel Sharon with that assassination business," Yossi Beilin insisted.

The result of the trip in time is now known. The leftist time travelers warned Hitler to evacuate the building, which was empty when struck by the missiles. The civilian political leader was rescued from assassination. The original history of the world in the 1940s was altered by the Israeli leftist time travelers. The notion of humaneness was rescued and preserved for all time.

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Among the better known "Waverly Novels" of Sir Walter Scott, is "Ivanhoe" a type of medieval Romance.

We pick up the story early on when the Templar Knight (Crusader), Brian de Bois-Guilbert is being entertained at the castle of the Saxon Thane Cedric in whose charge is the lovely Rowena (who later proves inadequate in comparison to the Jewess Rebecca).

Ivanhoe, Chapt. IV

"I will spare your courtesy, Sir Knight," said Rowena with dignity, and without unveiling herself, "or rather I will tax it so far as to require of you the latest news from Palestine, a theme more agreeable to our English ears than the compliments which your French breeding teaches."

"I have but little of importance to say, lady" answered Sir Brian de Bois-Guilbert, "excepting the confirmed tidings of a truce with Saladin."

He was interrupted by Wamba [Cedric’s Court Jester or Fool], who had taken his appropriated seat upon a chair the back of which was decorated with two ass’s ears...

"These truces with the infidels," he [Wamba] exclaimed, without caring how suddenly he interuppted the stately Templar, "make an old man of me!"

"Go to Knave -- how so?" said Cedric, his features perpared to receive favorably the expected jest.

"Because," answered Wamba, "I remember three of them in my my day, each of which was to endure for the course of fifty years; so that, by computation, I must be at least a hundred and fifty years old."

Steven Plaut

You can e-mail your comments to Steven at splaut@econ.haifa.ac.il

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