News Flash!! Bin Laden Captured and to be Sent to Swedish Health Farm!
News Flash!
It has been revealed today that Osama bin Laden’s hideout has been
discovered in a cave alongside the Afghan-Pakistani border. Bin Laden and
his deputies were surrounded by Pakistani troops while alive in the cave.
The Pakistani troops however followed the precedent set by the US ordering
Israeli troops not to harm Arafat and the gang of mass murderers holed up
in his Ramallah Fuhrersbunker, and so did not harm them. Instead, bin
Laden and his people are to turned over to the Swedes to be held on a
Swedish health farm and nudist camp outside of Stockholm, where they are
to be under open-ended "house arrest". They will be allowed weekly
furloughs to go into Stockholm. They will be allowed regular conjugal
visits by their mistresses and by Swedish massage parlor employees. They
will also be released to participate in any anti-American and anti-Israel
protests held in Scandinavia toprotest Israel violations of human rights.
They will be provided with a full set of communication instruments through
which they can communicate with al-Qaida followers about the world.
Ok, I admit it. The above paragraph is a spoof. Bin Laden has not
really been captured. But when he is, I plan to insist that the
precedent be followed of how Bush forced Israel to release the Palestinian
murderers from the Ramallah’s Fuhrersbunker into "US and British"
detention. Hell, I am even willing to offer that bin Laden be put under
detention on the Haifa University campus. I mean, 20% of the students and
30% of the faculty ALREADY are his followers!!
More generally, we have been doing extensive research on the question
of how Israel can BEST convey to the Arabs that it is still governed by
pusillanimous cowards and defeatists even AFTER the Defensive Shield
mini-incursions into the PLO Reichlet areas. Here is what we came up
with:
Agree to Bush’s proposal to let the murderers of cabinet minister
Zeevi be released into US-British detention. This makes sure everyone
understands Israel is still pledged to exempting the PLO from any of its
Oslo commitments, including extraditing murderers to Israel. Hell, offer
to let the terrorists in the Bethlehem Church go free also!
Whenever Israeli troops conquer terrorist strongholds, remove them
after a day or two. This way no one will really interfere with the
terrorist plans and activities.
Avoid killing Arafat at all costs. Offer to let Arafat out of his
Fuhrersbunker so he can roam Gaza freely and organize the rocket launchers
and chemical warfare brigades there.
Let the UN and the EU send in propaganda teams to promote anti-Jewish
blood libels and lies about Israel’s military activities. Let them
operate freely as spokes-organs for the PLO. Also, let anti-Israel media
propagandists freely tour the scenes of battles, unlike the US military
campaign in Afghanistan. Anyone even remember Mazaar a-Sharif?
Let the anti-globalization Euros prance about as Arafat’s human
shields without shooting them.
Do NOT declare Larsen as a persona non grata nor make him walk home
through Syria.
Allow the PLO to continue to operate freely in the Lands of Israel.
Respond to every new PLO atrocity with self-restraint.
Tell everyone you STILL want negotiations with the PLO.
Tell everyone you STILL want the PLO to have its own terrorist state
in the suburbs of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
Never introduce a death penalty for terrorists.
Let everyone know you are afraid to say NO to George Bush Jr.
Know how the whole world is screaming that there was a massacre in Jenin?
Well, Shimon Peres, never known to promote Israel’s position at the expense
of promoting PLO propaganda, says there were seven civilians killed in the
entire campaign of fighting in Jenin. Seven. In the year 2002, seven
dead Arabs constitutes not only a massacre, but genocide!! Just ask the
French and Swedes!
Sure, a few dozen other Jeninians were killed, but they were all
Palestinian terrorists and deserved to be killed. Slowly.
So if there is to be a commission of inquiry, its subject should be
why ONLY a few dozen terrorists in Jenin were killed and not far more.