With all the hullabaloo about the coming war, there are unfounded rumors flying all over the place, so we thought we’d bring you some.

There is a rumor that George W. Bush was so desperate to prove to everyone that the war is against terrorism only and not against Islam that he was considering getting himself circumcised. Then he called this idea off because he wanted to avoid anyone having suspicions that he was doing so to show support of Jews.

Then there is the rumor about what the US plans to do if it captures bin Laden. You see, this is not a trivial problem. If the US kills bin Laden, he then becomes a martyr for the Islamist fascists and for Haaretz newspaper. But he cannot be left alive after what he did either. If he is jailed, this will serve as incentive for other terrorists to grab US hostages to get him out.

So the rumor has it that Bush plans to give bin Laden a sex change operation, turning him into a woman, and then sending him BACK to Afghanistan.

(No doubt Rabbi Saperstein would then offer to officiate at any wedding the new bin Laden would be part of.)

Copyright © 2001 by Steven Plaut.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission