1. After seven months of nonstop atrocities, after the Israeli electorate rejected Oslo by a huge landslide, after the most "right-wing" Prime Minister in Israeli office has taken power, after a week of bombings of buses and murders of children, after all of this the new policy of Bibi the Second, a.k.a. Ariel Sharon, was revealed yesterday. He killed two PLO members.

   Sharon is determined to fight PLO violence through a continuation of Operation Limp Wrist, the policy of Ehud Barak under which Israel retaliates for atrocities by bombing empty buildings at night and by imposing "closure" for a few days and then lifting it is a goodwill gesture.

   It is not clear whether Sharon called Arafat to warn him which building would be hit, Ehud Barak style.

2. Mustafa Tlas is best known for his special awarding of a medallion to Syrian soldiers who murdered bound Israeli POW’s with their teeth after the Yom Kippur War. Serving as Syria’s Minister of War for endless years, Tlas is a great believer in cannibalism in the cause of peace. Naturally, he was also marched out at the Madrid conference to inform the world that Yitzhak Shamir was a terrorist, and Shamir did not pick up and leave nor shoot him. And Tlas continues to serve as the voice of modernism and progress under the junior Asad. We did a special on him last year after the Finnish Defense Minister complained that while being rogered about town by Tlas he felt her up.

   Tlas crayoned a book published in 1983 on how Jews use the blood of murdered gentile children to make matzos for Passover. (Yep, this is the same Tlas to whose regime Ehud Barak wanted to turn over the entire Golan Heights and allow them to dip their toes in the Sea of Galilee.) The book is based on a famous blood libel that took place in Damascus in 1840, on which Tlas "academic historic research" is based.

   Tlas insists the use of the blood in Damascus was all part of a Zionist plot, this long before Herzl was born. I personally expect him to be made an offer of a job at the Hebrew University any day now. (I suspect Ben Gurion University will not hire him cause he is too moderate.) Yossi Sarid will no doubt insist that the book be included in the tenth grade Israeli curriculum so that Jewish children can learn to emote with the Other.

   Now an Egyptian film company wishes to make a movie based on Tlas’ "research", as a sort of Arab answer to Schindler’s List. It will be called the Matzos of Zion, the title of Tlas’ book. Oh, you remember Egypt don’t you? The country that has been at peace with Israel ever since the first Camp David? Film will be produced by Egyptian producer Munir Radhi and is expected to be a large budget thriller, no doubt with government funds sunk into it.

Copyright © 2001 by Steven Plaut.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission