Many out there are amazed to discover that Ariel Sharon the Prime Minister is just another visionless Israeli demagogue.

But anyone who followed his career in the past would not be so surprised.

To raise the national spirits, I am here posting sections from my very first newspaper article about Ariel Sharon, printed in the Jerusalem Post on Oct 16 1984. Sharon at the time was the Minister of Industry and Trade in the Shamir Incompetocracy:

Toilet Economics
By Steven Plaut

Readers with a highly developed sense of delicacy are warned not to read this commentary. We will be dealing with a HIGHLY indelicate subject. We will be discussing a central concern of the latest version of the government’s economic policy.

It seems the major issue for that policy is the matter of those large round ceramic household fixtures through which water passes intermittently and which back in kindergarten days we used to call Happy Johnnies. There, I have said it. Yes, the government of Israel has decided to fight the continuing deterioration of our economy by crusading against imported Happy Johnnies.

In recent days Ariel Sharon on behalf of the government announced that he was totally banning all imports of Happy Johnnies and 54 other items for a period of six months. These items were enumerated in what was called a "list of luxury goods". Now THINK about that for a moment. Happy Johnnies are LUXURY goods?

The fact that Ariel Sharon so regards them says volumes about his own lifestyle and perhaps his early toilet training. It is one thing to fight foreign reserve losses by prohibiting shaving cream imports, ALSO on the list of prohibited items. After all, what is wrong with Jews growing beards? But Happy Johnnies? That is really hitting the public below the belt!

In fairness, one should point out that it was only imports of CERAMIC Johnnies that were prohibited. No one said anything about, say, wooden ones. But I, for one, am opposed to those. After all, how would it be if Israel became known as the Birch John Society? Ariel Sharon gets a grade for his polices of 00!!

History has tended to attach labels to the economic programs of various administrations. Roosevelt had his "New Deal". Johnson had the "Great Society". Aridor had "Correct Economics". Well, Ariel Sharon will go down in the history books as the father of Toilet Economics.

Copyright © 2001 by Steven Plaut.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission