Well, I’ve had a week like that, and after seeing a specialist regarding my bipolar condition on referral from my family doctor yesterday, he thinks I may be on the cusp of a manic episode. I’m not sure that I am – however, although the good doctor sees things from a professional perspective I do not possess – which I respect, I also cannot help but wonder about what has been said about people undergoing stress during difficult times experiencing similar reaction to multiple successes in short order as well.

Anyway, back to the kindred spirits thing. I have not used the word déjà vu for a reason here, as that is not what I think the situation is. After all, I am not one seeking to read more into a situation than actually exists in anything I see or do. If there is anything I hope to have learned by age 42, I hope this is the ONE thing I have learned if nothing else.

Back in my year-end column in December, I asked this question:

“Have you ever come across someone you clicked with immediately? Someone you can instinctively and completely trust with your deepest and most precious secrets? One with whom you would trust your life and whom you know would willingly trust you with theirs?”

While I only have met one person in my life like that – a childhood friend who lives out West, I do however look very much forward to the day when I come across another friend like that in whom I can again place that kind of trust. It isn’t often that you come across someone you are able to feel comfortable enough to even consider trusting to that degree. However, to make a friend like that is to indeed find a jewel far more precious than rubies.

If there is any one quality necessary to kindred spirits however, it definitely has to be a sense of humor and that sense of humor has to be either on the same level or fairly close to it. Think about it for a moment; lasting friends need to be able to laugh about the same things in order to make it through the rough times and especially the good times – and if this past Sunday was any indication, then perhaps I may be fortunate enough to have found another good friend or two.

On Sunday, I was at church – as usual, and as I was walking down the hall passing the Bishop’s Office, I saw someone standing there I hadn’t seen before. Assuming them to be a new member of the congregation and greeting them as I would any new member I had not yet met, I put my briefcase down and we introduced ourselves. When I made the remark that theirs was perhaps a new face, they placed their hand over their face, felt out its features, looked at me with a deadpan stare, a bright smile and the snappiest comeback I’ve ever heard in my life, said, “No, it’s the same face I’ve had all my life!”

What could I say? I just started laughing – and it was the kind of laugh that comes from the heart – the kind that comes back from the deep recesses of one’s childhood to your 42-year old consciousness and reminds you that when you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters are the quality of one’s friends – the family you choose for yourself if you will, and the degree of loyalty you show them; for if that is any indicator, I truly am a blessed man indeed.

All I can hope for with the turn of recent events in my life is for the addition of deeper and more meaningful friendships in my life. While there are many out there who do not believe in God and in His Son Jesus Christ, I do – and I know that those things in my life that are good and positive, those things that are healthy and happy and all that really matters to me are those things that have come about as I have tried to the best of my ability to live my life as best I can in accordance with what I have been taught and have come to believe.

And it is with the certainty of that hope that I know the day will come in my life that I will indeed find that kindred spirit. Now whether that person (if female) is either “just a friend” or someone I end up dating and possibly beyond, I do not know. However, friends like that are worth their weight in gold, and to me – that is the minimum standard in any lasting friendship.

Ezra Taft Benson

Again, referring to my year-end column in December, I quote the following from Ezra Taft Benson, 13th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who had this to say:

“In her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?”

Although these remarks were made about courtship, they have equal application and validity to all relationships – especially friendships, as that is the initial relationship on which any basis for trust and acceptance is established.

Lastly, the final sign of finding a kindred spirit for me is whether or not they pass what I call the Star of the First Magnitude Test, which I have described as being:

“A Star of the First Magnitude is one who brings out the very best in you in ways you never knew possible – who by their mere presence inspires the best and finest in you. “Company Manners” are automatic in their presence; you don’t think about it – you just go on autopilot and you do it. Their mere presence raises both of you to new heights neither of you knew possible and the both of you are all the richer for your association and friendship with each other.”

Then and only then do they pass the kindred spirit test – and when they do, it will be an even more wonderful day for one and all with a peace and joy that far surpasses anything you have previously ever known.

Timothy Rollins

• Photo of Ezra Taft Benson courtesy of Brigham Young University Department of Religious Education
• With files from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

You can e-mail your comments to Timothy at tim@opinionet.com

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Copyright © 2002 by Timothy Rollins.
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