As interesting and often annoying as the commercials often are, the personalities we have to endure are often worse. As many as there are, some are just so annoying that they are in a category by themselves. And so it is that I introduce the ten most annoying people on television. Here they are:

"Carrot-Top"

10. Carrot Top (right) from the AT&T commercials with his bellowing "1-800-CALL-ATT" pitch. This guy is more than just super annoying; his appearance and shrill voice make you want to fly across the room, change the channel, turn off the television or pull the plug - whatever it takes to eliminate the scourge of his image from your mind, even if you break a few bones in the process of doing it. The commercial with the hockey mask where he gets hit in the face has me sometimes wishing the mask would slip off just before impact.

9. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen - The twins from the "Full House" series on ABC in the 1990’s have grown into teenagers and are out making as many video movies as possible right now. Say what you want about these two - at least they’re cashing in while they can. Perhaps they know what becomes of child stars, having seen what became of Macaulay Caulkin, Adam Rich and others like them that were once seen as "cute", and who are now either on unemployment lines or in day jobs like the rest of us. How do I know this? Because their videos are in the same rack as the Blue’s Clue’s® videos I buy for my little boy at the local Wal-Mart. Having suffered through them in "Full House" while my older kids were watching them, I can only see them as being in no better straits than Adam Rich from "Eight is Enough" fame if they are not wise. By the time he was 21, Rich had been in the Betty Ford Clinic - twice. I can only hope that their mother is not pimping her daughters to ease her own life at the expense of their childhood and that they have a better fate and are better prepared for adulthood than young Mr. Rich was.

8. Roseanne - Born in Salt Lake City, she went on to become the Shamu of the Hollywood set. Whatever humor she may have ever possessed at one time was lost on me. After her show went off ABC, she used whatever means she could to extend her 15 minutes of fame. Her blasphemous rendition of the National Anthem and her contempt for this country speaks for itself. Need we say more, comrade?

7. Elizabeth Taylor - You were hot stuff 50 years ago - in fact, you were incredible. However, your days of "International Velvet" are far behind you. Your 15 minutes are also long over. There is a newer generation of talent coming up that deserves their time in the spotlight. Enjoy your memories of the spotlight and try to learn to live life in a nobler role - work behind the scenes, and just bow out gracefully.

6. Britney Spears - The former Mousketeer® broke on the scene a number of years ago as the "good little Baptist girl" from Louisiana. Among other things, she planned to remain a virgin until she got married. Do I believe such is possible? Of course I do, as I have seen hundreds of young men and women remain virgins until their wedding day, myself included. Britney on the other hand, has proven to be a classic case study in duplicity. In what has become what can only be described as an extreme disappointment, her stage act, dancing, lyrics and costumes have degenerated into what could only be described as ’skank’. Joining the likes of Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and others I’m sure, Britney did her fans a major disservice by falling into the pit of these others when she could have very easily taken the high road indeed.

5. Martha Stewart - CBS’ interior decorating queen follows The Early Show and I have to tell you folks, this one strikes me as a psychotic just waiting to explode. Many is the episode I have heard of this woman’s after hours escapades of bizarre behavior and of an attitude that has her branded in some quarters as "more than a little bit difficult to work with". As for Martha’s eventual cancellation: It would be a good thing - indeed.

4. Dan Rather - Also from CBS, Rather got his big break by getting to the car phone first when JFK was shot in Dallas in 1963. As anchor and Managing Editor of the CBS Evening News since March 1981, he has basically presided over the beginning of the downfall of the significance of broadcast news, particularly with the advent of cable television and its 24-hour news sources - most notably, CNN, FOX News and MSNBC. Like so many other others who have allowed themselves to become the news and not just reporters of it, Rather has racked up an impressive record in his time at the anchor desk. Let’s take a look at them, shall we? He threw a hissy fit when the US Open Tennis Tournament went overtime and cut into his broadcast, he showed his partisanship and got into a p---ing contest with President (Papa) Bush on the air, he kissed Bill and Hillary Clinton’s butts on the air by saying ’how wonderful they were’ back in 1993, and then to top it all off, when Bush (the younger) was declared the winner in the 2000 election, Rather had the temerity to say words to the effect that we had to accept it whether we liked it or not. If he dislikes it that much, he can join Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Whoopi Goldberg, Robert Altman and the others who threatened to leave the country if W took office. Notice how like scum, their hypocrisy surfaced so quickly to the forefront of the public consciousness, yet no major newspaper made any note of it? Anyway, Rather indicated that 2000 was his last presidential election. Hopefully, he will keep his word on this one, but with his record, you never can tell. One thing for sure: His departure from television cannot come soon enough!

"Today Show" Anchor Katie Couric

3. Katie Couric - NBC’s allegedly ’perky’ co-host of "The Today Show" (left) was recently signed by the network to a $65 million five-year deal in order to keep her from going elsewhere. Shortly thereafter, she and Matt Lauer along with the crew went to Salt Lake City to do the Winter Olympics. While there, she has the unmitigated gall to actually complain about getting up two hours earlier to do her job in order to accommodate East Coast viewers. So she gets up at 2:30 in the morning for two weeks - big deal. Does she know how many single mothers are working two and sometimes even three jobs to support themselves and their two children - often at minimum wage, while Couric makes $13 million per year just for being cute five days a week for a couple or few hours a day? The ultimate in ingratitude, she should spend a month working at a Denny’s on the graveyard shift while living in a run-down one-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn near the BQE while her aged mother stays over in the tiny apartment while her two daughters sleep. Perhaps then she will realize how good she really has it! Sounds like this pathetic overpaid woman needs a ’waah’mbulance.

Oprah Winfrey

2. Oprah Winfrey - (right with then-Texas Governor George W. Bush). Finally and long overdue as so well put by Jack McCoy’s character on Law & Order, the backlash against the ’Oprahfication’ of America is now taking place. It was the talk-show environment initially started by Phil Donahue but fanned by Oprah that made talk television the epitome of sleaze and base ’entertainment’ it became in so many quarters of American society. Like the spawn of Satan, each of these shows sought to rationalize and excuse their guests of any degree of personal responsibility for any wrongdoing in their lives, when the fact of the matter was that like the rest of us, we do not make mistakes: we make choices and as such, we are not free to escape the consequences of those choices. Oprah spawned Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer, Montel Williams and Maury Povich among others. In addition, there were all kinds of out-of-work actors who thought they could do the gig as well, to include Roseanne (see #8 above). The originator of the talk-show zoo, Oprah managed to stay on top because she was smart enough to see the writing on the wall that base ’entertainment’ was on the way out, and in firing Debbie DiMaio, her former programming director, was able to save her skin - professionally, personally and most importantly, financially - especially with a financial empire worth in excess of $300 million on the line … and lastly,

Sally Jesse Raphael

1. "Sideshow" Sally Jesse Raphael - (left) What can I say? Whining about getting cancelled after getting a lowly 1.7 rating, we see that what goes around comes around. Kinda cool, huh? Best described by Rush Limbaugh on his web site, her shows went like this: ’My Sister Had My Man’s Baby. We Want Mom To Leave Her Cheating Husband. I Make A Living With My Body - And I’m Proud Of It. My Teenaged Daughter Is A Tramp. My Sister Slept With My Husband. My Daughter’s Living As A Boy. I Want To Marry My Brother, and the classic feel-good show of the year: My Kid Looks Like A Freak. These are just a few pre-1995 topics. The "quality" has gone even farther down the toilet since then.’ To which I will add the following: Now that she is off the air, perhaps she can get a job with the City of Buffalo Zoo shoveling the animal manure - after all, she specialized in dealing with the human side of it for so long.

Like it says in the New York Lottery, "Hey, you never know …"