Role Models

I saw in the newspaper some photos from the MTV Awards Thursday night, and the article in The Washington Post the next morning had a picture of Britney Spears that in all likelihood fit the entire theme of the evening. In mentioning Britney, I am not singling her out alone, but the photo and the write-up of her peeling off layers of clothing as she did her version of "Satisfaction" spoke volumes.

For lack of a better description, Britney was (as usual) dressed like a skank. And if it dresses like a skank, sings like a skank and oozes sex in its lyrics, then it is in all likelihood, a skank. For Britney and others to claim that their lyrics, clothing and stage manner do not affect impressionable youth is to not only refuse to accept reality, but to refuse to accept responsibility as well. Definitely not an acceptable role model by any standard.

In the movie "True Lies" a few years ago, Tom Arnold’s character Gib told Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character that he and Jamie Lee Curtis weren’t their kids’ parents and that these kids looked to Madonna and the like – and the sad fact of the matter, his was an accurate reflection of American society today.

Most kids look to rock stars, professional athletes, actors, actresses, business executives and politicians among other types of celebrities as role models. Many of these people often make the news in an unfavorable light. Drug possession, driving under the influence, domestic violence, tax evasion and numerous indiscretions have been associated with these types of people and their celebrity status makes the situation very embarrassing and leaves many kids disillusioned.

NBA player Charles Barkley, who has since retired, created quite a stir a number of years ago when he said that it was not his place in life to be a role model and that parents should fill that role. I applauded his honesty as he expressed something a lot of folks had long since felt. Celebrities have no business being role models unless those looking up to them are their own children.

I have three children. My two oldest live out West, and my youngest lives here. I was 22 when my oldest was born and 36 when my youngest came into the world. The sad fact of the matter is that I was not anywhere near as good a role model for my two older children as I should have been. Some of that can be attributed to medical problems, while some of that has been lack of proper parenting skills which have since improved with time and experience.

I have made major strides in the 14 years between my oldest and my youngest, although I am far from perfect. Because of a divorce when my two older children were under 3, I did not have much of a chance to be a part of their upbringing. This was due in large part to my living a great distance away. As a result, I now make it a point of regular time uninterrupted with my little boy. At age 4, he is still in that age where he loves parental attention and imitates everything he sees his parents do.

I hope that he will always be able to look to his mother and I as role models, and in order to do so, I need to watch myself at all times, particularly when I am around him, as does his mother. If we are able to do that as parents, then when he reaches adolescence, he will be better able to retain his perspective and not be as easily swayed by either peer pressure or whomever pops up on the scene of the entertainment venues.

If, as parents, we can keep the lines of communications open, we will have a better chance of seeing him turn into a fine and responsible young man of whom we will continue to be justifiably proud indeed.

Nothing could be more fulfilling or rewarding for any parent.

You can e-mail your comments to Timothy at trollins@idirect.com.

Copyright © 2000 by Timothy Rollins.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission