Twenty Five Years - A Distance In Time And Thinking

In the classic 1977 motion picture “ET, The Extraterrestrial,” a human boy befriends an alien life form. At first, communication is difficult, but eventually, they come to a meeting of the minds. The relationship they develop was integral in the plot, and made the movie the success it was. Although fictional, it was a story about how even vast other-worldly differences in the two main characters, can be overcome with a little understanding and humanity, unlike the interrelations among humans. 

Recently, while walking the streets of Gotham, I heard a voice call out my name above all the fray and hustle-bustle of the holiday season. As I turned a figure emerged from the crowd and approached. Still a distance away, I was uncertain at first, but as the stranger drew closer, familiarity set in. It was Mark, an acquaintance not seen or heard from in over twenty-five years. “Hello Bob, how are you?” We exchanged greetings.

We moved to the side to allow the rushing crowd to pass by. About to stop for a bit to eat, I invited Mark to join me. We were shown to a table, and the waitress handed us menus. I asked how he and his family were doing; he brought me up to date and concluded all were fine. I briefly did the same, and we moved on. We began to reminisce, and although for the most part, we were not friends, we did live in the same neighborhood and occasionally said hello.

It is a sad commentary on the current state of relationships when one feels like they must take precautions when speaking with someone, anyone, these days. There is one thing I will make every effort to ensure in a conversation, and that is to avoid any mention of that one subject that has caused families and friends to go their separate ways. Talk about politics these days, can be disastrous, a minefield with dangers, hurt feelings, and much anger. 

The conversation had been rather run-of-the-mill, so to speak, just two people talking about matters of common interest. But always on the alert, I sensed my efforts to avoid the minefield might be threatened. Of course, I expected the conversation to include talk on the New Year, but knew that this must be handled delicately with care. Mark asked if I had any New Year’s resolutions, and I mentioned trying to be more accommodating and understanding of the beliefs and sensibilities of others.

Then the moment of truth arrived, and I asked the same question, but for some reason sensed by his gestures, facial expression, and uneasy shifting in his chair that the hammer was about to fall. Mark responded with the typical New Year resolutions, refraining from certain foods and drinks. But then it was followed with this: “I will do all I can to ensure that the right people claim victory in the presidential election.” What could I do, and asked who he considered the right people. I was ready, “Anyone but that criminal Trump.” 

Here we go.

Of course, I couldn’t allow this to go unchecked and asked if he meant a candidate from any party. He responded, “Why would anyone vote for a Republican, they are a threat to Democracy.” We went back and forth, and casting aside the resolution I mentioned earlier, said “Mark, settle down, it’s been twenty-five years, why must we go down this road? Let’s just agree to disagree.” He said it was too important, and again repeated a litany of grievances against the former president. 

At first, I intended to leave it at that, but then thought otherwise. “Mark,” I said, “You’re using the same tired platitudes and talking points of the Democratic Party. And unlike the current occupant of the White House, Mr. Trump was a highly successful president." He interrupted and responded that Biden is a great president and even more successful than “the Orange Man.” This is a term used by many on the Left.

Shaking my head out of disappointment, “Mark," I said, “you speak out of desperation, and are captive and victim of your ideological persuasions. You’re suffering from the ignominy and embarrassment of a weak and doddering president you apparently so admire. The same president is dealing with two wars, a deadly and incompetent exit from Afghanistan, record high inflation, and whose open border policy is leading the American people and the nation down a road to perdition.”

He removed the napkin from his lap, cast it on the table, stood up, and said “Thanks for the lunch, and perhaps we will meet again in another twenty-five years, but as far as I’m concerned that would be too soon.” As he walked out of the restaurant, I said “Mark, have a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year.” He didn’t look back.

The gravity of what happened here is a sad commentary on the times we live in. Politics, the media, and education each play a part in this divisive encounter. People can no longer disagree on matters, especially politics, and then just set it aside and move on. It seems many think that if they don’t get the upper hand and convince you how wrong you are, and that you’ll recalibrate your thinking, then it is an insult and personal affront. 

After twenty-five years, it appeared Mark and I left the same neighborhood, but traveled down vastly different paths. But in my opinion, it seems that whatever he encountered in life on his journey, he became a victim of time and ideological indoctrination. He failed to learn the valuable qualities associated with virtue, patience, and especially fortitude, and the strength of mind that enables a person to deal with danger and adversity with strength. You can possess the courage of your convictions, but can do so with respect and dignity for another.