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Sen. Grassley, You Can't Fix a Crap Sandwich!

August 10, 2009


Imagine U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley walking into a diner in his home state of Iowa during the August congressional recess. He visits with a few of his long-time constituents, then sits down in a booth and orders the special of the day, a meatloaf sandwich. When the waitress brings it to him, it looks fine at first glance, but then he starts to notice a foul odor coming from his plate. He looks around and sees others eating the same meal, and so he picks it up to take a bite. The odor grows stronger, so he pulls apart the pieces of bread, only to discover that instead of meatloaf, he has been served a sandwich filled with excrement! Horrified, he calls the diner owner over to his booth and demands to know the meaning of this. The diner owner looks at the sandwich, shrugs, picks up a bottle of ketchup, dumps it on the contents of the sandwich and says, "Try it now."

As outrageous as this scenario sounds, it is exactly what Grassley and a few other Republican senators are accepting in the debate over "reforming" the American health care system. Democrats are serving up an excrement sandwich in the form of a massive government-controlled health care boondoggle that is as offensive to the American people as anything to come out of Washington in many a decade. It is a federal power grab on a scale none of us have seen in our lifetime. It will destroy the greatest health care system in the world, while driving up costs and rationing care. In short, it will transform us into Canada or Great Britain, and the American people know it.

Meanwhile, Sen. Grassley -- usually a reliable conservative -- is pretending that he, Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe and a few other Republicans can work out some sort of "compromise" with their Democrat "colleagues." At a time when the country is rallying behind the GOP claim that this legislation is a toxic mix of unacceptable rules, regulations, mandates, rationing and limitations from a government that can't even run the Post Office or administer a program whereby they give away free money for buying a new automobile, why give them political cover on this? House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid are desperate to claim their bill has "bipartisan support." If they are so terribly proud of this monstrosity, why are they so afraid to pass it on their own? If their "reform" is so great, why not let them serve it up and live or die on its merits, if there are any?

It is a lie that people are being denied health care in America. Insurance companies, which are now being demonized by Pelosi and the Democrats, may refuse out of economic necessity to cover a certain procedure or pre-existing condition; but if lifesaving treatment is needed, it is provided by the medical establishment with no questions asked, and payment is discussed later. Even illegal aliens get the best treatment in the world. But when the medical establishment becomes the government, and vice-versa, rationing will be commonplace, and when that happens, no one will be able to get health care without the approval of a government bureaucrat. And if you think HMOs are heartless, just wait until the government tells you that you cannot have that surgery. Not, "we won't pay for it," mind you, but rather, "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!"

Barack Obama and the Democrats in Congress are trying to sell excrement sandwiches out of the back end of their traveling snake oil wagon as it passes through Washington. Tell them to keep right on going. Tell them to keep their change. And while they are home for the August recess, tell Republicans like Chuck Grassley that you can't fix a crap sandwich.

Copyright ©2009 Doug Patton

Doug Patton describes himself as a recovering political speechwriter who agrees with himself more often than not. His weekly columns are syndicated by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. Readers are encouraged to email him at dpatton@cagle.comand/or to follow him on Twitter at @Doug_Patton.

 


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