To Be A Good Liberal

August 29, 2011

By Tom Barrett

Dear readers: I am preparing to leave on a trip to Mexico to speak for Lance Wallnau’s group. I find that I don’t have time to properly research the article I had planned to write this week. So instead, I offer you some truth mixed with humor that one of our readers sent me.

TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL, you have to believe:

That the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
That the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
That guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
That there was no art before Federal funding.
That global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate than by yuppies driving SUVs.
That gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
That capital punishment is bad, but abortion on demand is good.
That businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
That hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who’ve never been outside of Seattle do.
That self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
That the military, not corrupt politicians, starts wars.
That the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
That taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
That Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, or Thomas Edison.
That homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected & manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
That standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
That Conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but liars and sex offenders belong in the White House.
That the only reason Socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

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