Trump’s Speech that Would Put Him Back in the Oval Office

Only fools, drunks, and low I.Q. political consultants walk on the thin ice of political prognostication. You can now add this Baptist pundit. 

The midterm elections are only a few months away, and if voters stay sane, don’t get drunk, or take drugs that fry their brains, and political thieves don’t steal the election, conservative Republicans will be in control of the House and Senate. That will temporarily stop the national descent in a handbasket to an undesirable destination. 

That sets the stage for the Presidential race in 2024 that will damn, delay, or determine freedom for the free world. Let me be clear. I don’t care if Trump is elected or not, but we must have a president who puts American first, last, and always. His party, his personality, his pedigree, his parentage, his peccadillos, his place of worship, etc., are all relatively unimportant. 

I have always had problems with Trump. He did many things I was delighted with; however, it is not too smart to antagonize voters, especially when it is unnecessary, unproductive, and unprovoked. He is loud, uncouth, and boastful, but he kept his promises to us. However, he has not been able to control a simple thing like his zipper during his adult life. If a man can’t or won’t control his zipper, can he be trusted with the "nuclear football"? 

I believe a key to his future presidential success is how he handles the 2020 election. I think it will defeat him if he keeps singing the stolen election song. He must forget the past after having learned all its lessons. He should make one statement about past electoral problems and go on record of never dealing with it again. Tell the media the past is past. All informed people know of election irregularities in various states in 2020, but that is now ancient history. He should promise that the GOP will guarantee the 2024 election will be rigorously observed and never mention the 2020 election issue again. 

And stand by his word to never discuss it. That will annoy the media, but they will get over it. 

Then go out and defeat the Democrats so severely that it will eclipse the 1964 defeat of Barry Goldwater. The Democrat’s brazen theft of Lyndon Johnson’s 1948 senate race and Jack Kennedy’s father’s purchase of his 1960 Presidential race were both nation-changing, but Trump’s fair re-election of 2024 would be earth-shaking with astounding, long-time results for the globe. 

Assuming a new Trump will be the candidate in 2024, I have written his stump speech that will put him back in office, or it could be modified and used by a Trump wannabe:

Fellow Americans, I want to introduce myself or, more correctly, reintroduce myself to you tonight. I was privileged to serve you for four years, and we had some impressive successes and some inglorious failures. I entered politics to make America great again, but my personal failures mitigated and hindered that objective.

There were many times when I did not talk and act like the leader of the greatest nation in world history. For that, I am sorry. I will even try to cease the crass, coarse, and crude cursing, at least in public. 

I was careless in hiring people who were not qualified for the job or were impossible to work with for various reasons. I was unwilling to admit failure and felt a need to always have the most and be the best, the largest, and the most expensive. Frankly, such immaturity is an embarrassment. I recognize my failures, faults, and foibles that limited what I wanted to accomplish. 

I am now a new man and will continue to keep my word to you. 

Since a nation cannot be great if its economy is in disarray, I will make it easier to start and run your businesses. Taxes and regulations will be cut since free people can regulate themselves and have a natural right to spend their own money. 

I promise to hire the best conservative people I can find. I will not insist on the “right” proportion of women, Blacks, Hispanics, Jews, or bald-headed midgets. I may end up with a cabinet full of bald-headed midgets, but they will be trustworthy, competent, patriotic, hardworking bald-headed midgets wearing red caps. 

Before considering any legislation or action, I will ask myself some questions. Is this action Constitutional? Is it essential? If it is, do we need this action at this time? Can we afford this action? Will this action promote freedom? Is it family-friendly? In the greater scheme of things, is it the right thing to do? Will this action embolden our enemies? 

I promise to look even closer at a proposed action if it is recommended by the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the World Economic Forum (WEF), any Soros-backed group, any liberal religious denomination including the National Council of Churches, and any left-wing “EvanJellical” groups. 

You can be sure any proposed action will be rejected if endorsed by the famous Swedish environmental philosopher Greta Thunberg. 

I suppose my biggest failure is the only one the leftists think was my biggest success - the production of the COVID-19 vaccines. I thought I was doing the right thing; after all, the federal health experts said it was right. We have been told for decades that vaccines are why Americans are so healthy, and I did not expect the “experts” to produce vaccines that are unsafe and ineffective. 

Of course, vaccines make a mass of money for Big Pharma, but I am now conscious of that. 

Moreover, I am devastated that vaccines were forced upon children and others in little danger from COVID. We now know of many tragic consequences that followed the shots.

Whatever you believe about the COVID vaccines, you can be assured that the federal government will never again make medical decisions for you, nor will there be another government-ordered lockdown. 

Furthermore, I will clean out the federal agencies that birthed the disastrous federal response to COVID. I suggest Walgreens, CVS, and Rite-Aid stores hire the disgraced, disappointing, and soon-to-be dismissed health officials to give shots on a part-time basis if they are dumb enough to continue the shots. Or they could be transferred to work in community health centers doing routine medical procedures after taking a refresher course. 

With my purpose of putting America first, I will acknowledge those nations who are friendly toward us and those who are clearly unfriendly, even antagonistic. We will trade with China, Russia, and some African nations if it benefits the U.S. 

We will not make political and economic decisions based solely on diversity. After all, we never hear China, any African nation, or Muslim nation speak of diversity. While we want other nations to be successful, we will continue to make decisions so America will become its greatest. 

During my term, one of my biggest mistakes was to endorse and promote the LGBTQ agenda, which I will no longer do. All Americans have all the rights of others as guaranteed by the Constitution, but the LGBTQ crowd wants special rights. However, that would be unfair to normal Americans. The Constitution and common law do not permit any group to be special. Homosexuals have a right to think their sexual activities are normal and even right. At the same time, others who disagree with them have a right to believe these actions are abnormal, as recognized throughout man’s history. However, whenever normal people suggest homosexuality is abnormal, abominable, and aberrational, the LGBTQ crowd finds it impossible to hide their hatred of the stated normalcy. 

Furthermore, I will bring some common sense (and science) to the transgender issue. A man has a right to claim to be a woman and even call himself “herself.” Similarly, his friends have a right to think he is barking mad. Those friends will not be required to encourage or agree with his insanity. Moreover, no school will be permitted to teach such delusion, and any health official, hospital, or clinic that provides hormones or surgery to effect a change in gender of any person will be prosecuted by law. 

For millennia, all societies have considered the mutilation of children on the same level as incest, cannibalism, and political progressivism! 

It might be helpful to add some Bible from Genesis 1:27: “…in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them”—period. And 2:24 tells us a man will “cleave unto his wife,” not his neighbor’s wife, and not to another man, but “to his wife.” Nor to his favorite goat. 

I will continue to support the cause of Israel to exist within safe and secure borders but expect them to pay their own bills unless some action is directly related to the interests of the U.S. We will try to be fair with the group known by the uneducated as Palestinians; however, we will not support, defend, or be friendly to any Muslim nation that supports, defends, glorifies, or finances terrorist activities. That will eliminate U.S. support for most Palestinians. 

Our foreign affairs will not be determined by oil production. If some Islamic nations, even some U.S. “friends,” don’t like American policies they can pour their oil on their pancakes each morning. Or they can go pound sand. They have plenty of that. 

We will again pump oil out of Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, North Dakota, the Gulf of Mexico, Alaska, California, and a few other areas. Once again, we will be the number one oil and gas producer in the world, and our nation will transport billions of gallons each day in more than 200 U.S. pipelines consisting of 190,000 miles. Admittedly, occasionally some elk in Montana, scratching its rear may get its rump seared, but we’ll live with that tragedy. 

With the additional oil and gas, thousands of Americans will be back to work, our homes will be heated more cheaply, and citizens will not have to choose between filling their gas tanks and making a house payment. 

Just as we would not permit a church or group of churches to denounce, denigrate, then destroy our government, we will not permit any mosque to attempt the same. Any mosque found supporting terrorism or to have allegiances to a foreign government will be closed. 

No nation is a nation without borders, so we will take control of our borders and send gatecrashers back to their homelands. We will take the same action any sane homeowner would take if an illegal family forced down their doors and set up residence therein. 

Finally, we will stay out of foreign wars by minding our own business. We will not kick our friends and kiss our enemies as some have done in the past. As always, our objective will be to Make America Great Again! 

If I fail to keep these promises, I will resign from the office.