Self: Wonderful Servant, Terrible Master

Here’s some ‘self-wisdom’ I gleaned from the internet recently. It’s called Don’t Wash Your Hair in the Shower.

“It's so good to get a health warning that is useful to me finally. I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed on the shampoo label very clearly are the words, 'For Extra Body and Volume.' No wonder I have been gaining weight. 

Well, I got rid of that shampoo and will start showering using Dawn dishwashing liquid instead. Dawn’s label reads, ‘Dissolves Fat that Is Otherwise Difficult to Remove.’ Problem solved. If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!” Well, that’s her self-driven reality. Nice thought, though.  

Today, let’s access some self-awareness about the 'self.'  I think the primary task of our time is to understand and know how to deal with the nature and nurture of the human spirit or what I call in this article, self. Margaret Wheatly says, “We must understand that the great cry of people today is ‘Will you know my name? Will you know that I exist?’ People want to find each other and be recognized for their uniqueness.” 

Here are some thoughts by others about the subject of self. 

"A person needs self-acceptance, or they won’t be able to live with themselves; they need self-criticism, or others can’t live with them.” (James Pike) 

"The greatest burden we must carry in life is self; the most difficult thing we must manage is self. (Hannah Smith) 

“I have more trouble with D. L. Moody than with any other man I ever met. (Dwight L. Moody) 

“You have an ego – a consciousness of being an individual. But that doesn’t mean you are to worship yourself, to think constantly of yourself, and to live entirely for yourself.” (Billy Graham)

Think of all the 'self' words we use in today’s world: Self-appraisal, self-capacity, self-centeredness, self-confidence, self-consciousness, self-control, self-criticism, self-delusion, self-denial, self-discovery, self-destruction, self-dislike, self-evaluation, self-growth, self-image, self-importance, self-improvement, selfishness, selflessness, self-knowledge, self-pity, self-praise, self-restraint, and self-victory. These self-words are just the tip of the iceberg. Issues about self, sell. Why? Self is something everyone deals with. And today, multitudes are obsessing with 'selfies.' 

Self is a good thing, but good things, taken to extremes, can become destructive things. The problem is we don't even know it. Self is a wonderful servant, a terrible master. Often the problem with self is that it's hard to see when my eyes are on me. The only difference between run and ruin is ‘I.’ Self-absorption is like bad breath. Everyone knows that you have it but you. Self-centeredness and happiness do not go hand in hand. And no person is as important as they sound at their alum banquet. By the way, people who sing their self-praises usually do so without accompaniment.  

Let’s explore some constructive and destructive self-issues by seasoned veterans who have gained knowledge and experience in handling themselves. Remember, handle yourself' or yourself' will handle you. If we could see ourselves as others see us, we'd probably have our eyes examined. 

Here's some wisdom about self-appraisal. "You damage yourself and your relations with others if you think too much or too little of yourself. Take a modest, realistic view of yourself. And don't wear a false front because you want to seem to be what you're not.” (Marion Jacobsen)

Here’s some wisdom about self-consciousness. "We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they think about us." (Ethel Barrett)

Consider this quote about self-capacity. "A famous athletic coach once said that most people, including some athletes, are 'holdouts.' They always hold back. They do not invest themselves 100% in competition. Because of quasi-self-giving, they never achieve the highest degree of their capacity. Don't be a holdout. Be an all-out or all-in. Do this, and life will not hold out on you." (Norman Peale)

Let's explore self-evaluation. "Most of us don't like to look inside ourselves for the same reason we don't like to open a letter with bad news." (Fulton Sheen)

"You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself and how little I deserve it. (W. S. Gilbert)

And finally, remember this, forget what people think about you. You’re a ‘people.’ What do you think of you?

Then there’s self-pity. “What poison is to food; self-pity is to life.” (Oliver Wilson)

"Self-pity is when you begin to feel that no man's land is your island." (Dana Robbins) Self-pity goes along with self-destruction. 

"Many people go throughout life committing partial suicide – destroying their talents, energies, and creative qualities. Indeed, to learn how to be good to oneself is often more difficult than to learn how to be good to others." (Joshua Liebman)

Let’s finish with self-growth. “There is nothing wrong with having deficiencies. It’s what we do about them that counts. Better expand our energies improving, rather than deploring. To work at overcoming weaknesses and reinforcing strengths is the way we grow.” (Doris Dickelman)

The best this world can get is you, being you, with God all over you! So, discover yourself, your authentic self. That will require personal responsibility. The person who embraces self-growth makes themselves better and everyone they encounter better too. Selah.