Quick Quips and Timely Tidbits

If you have read my article through the years, you will know that I collect thoughts and one-liners on Facebook and social media that don't need clarification or explanation. Some are witty, profound, funny, and hard-hitting, but all are worthy of our consideration or enjoyment.

I like to start with funny (to most people) sayings because the Bible says laughter is good medicine for what ails you. We all need to laugh from time to time. Even intense Elizabeth, the main character in Jane Austen’s book Pride and Prejudice, loves to laugh. So, hopefully, I will get you laughing, and then when your mouth is open, I put in the medicine. Enough said. 

So, here’s some insightful, cheeky stuff for what ails you. ‘The most expensive vehicle to operate, by far, is the Costco shopping cart.’ ‘It’s weird being the same age as old people.’ ‘A scammer called my grandma and said he had all her passwords. She got a pen and paper and said, “Thank God for that, what are they?”’ 'Procrastination is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow and nothing to do today.' 'I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn't like my attitude, and I was taking too many coffee breaks!' ‘I wanted to go jogging, but Proverbs 28:1 says, "The wicked run when no one is chasing them,” so that’s that!’ Lastly, ‘Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to grab the dash or scream every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.’

Here are some crisp, pithy insights for you. 'If an outside force breaks an egg, life ends. If broken by an inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from the inside.' 'Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day.' 'Show respect even to people who don't deserve it, not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.' 'The best weight you'll ever lose is the weight of other people's opinions.' ‘You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.’ (Ouch!) 'Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s.' I like this last one. ‘Someone asked introverts, “How do introverts make friends?” Ten percent answered, “They don’t.” Ninety percent answered, “An extrovert found them, liked them, and adopted them.”'

'A pessimist makes difficulties of their opportunities, and an optimist makes opportunities of their difficulties.' 'What I know of fear is that it has cost me far more than bravery ever has.' 'You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.' 'People need to learn that their actions do affect other people. So be careful what you say and do. It's not always just about you.' 'Care too little, you lose them. Care too much, you get hurt.' 'Sometimes what you want doesn't deserve you.' 'Worry is like a rocking chair: It will give you something to do but won't get you anywhere.' ‘If suicide ever crosses your mind, just know I would rather listen to your story than attend your funeral.’ ‘People will never truly understand something until it happens to them.’ 

Here’s a great story about trials in life. A pastor asked an older farmer, decked out in bib overalls, to say grace for the morning breakfast. "Lord, I hate buttermilk," the farmer began. The visiting pastor opened one eye to glance at the farmer and wonder where this was going. The farmer loudly proclaimed, "Lord, I hate lard." Now, the pastor was growing concerned. Without missing a beat, the farmer continued, "And Lord, you know I don't care for raw white flour." The pastor once again opened an eye to glance around the room and saw that he wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable.

Then the farmer added, "But Lord, when you mix and bake them, I love warm fresh biscuits. So, Lord, when things come up that we don't like, when life gets hard, or when we don't understand what you're saying, help us relax and wait until you are done mixing. It will probably be even better than biscuits."

Here’s something for Christ-followers to consider. 'The enemy may hide wolves in sheep's clothing, but God hides lions inside of lambs.' 'Surround yourself with friends who will tear a hole in the roof, lift you up, and carry you down to the feet of Jesus.' 'Then God said, "I heard your prayers. Now trust My timing."' 'They said Noah was a crazy conspiracy theorist. Then the flood came, and the fact-checkers drowned.' 'McDonald's can mess up your order 101 times, and you keep returning. One thing goes wrong at church, and you quit. People just aren't hungry enough.'  

Consider this final thought. ‘To be born, you needed two parents, four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, 16 second-great-grandparents, 32 third-great-grandparents, 64 fourth-great-grandparents, 128 fifth-great-grandparents, 256 sixth-great-grandparents, 512 seventh-great-grandparents, 1,024 eighth-great-grandparents, and 2,048 ninth-great-grandparents. 

To be born today from 12 previous generations, you needed 4,094 ancestors over the last 400 years. Think for a moment about how many struggles, battles, and how much sadness, happiness, love stories, and hope for the future your ancestors had to undergo for you to exist at this moment. You are the dream (or the nightmare) of many ancestors who have gone before you.

In other words, if you think you see more than your ancestors, it's because you're sitting on their shoulders.