Knowing What’s Vital When It’s Vital

Allow me to share with you a life-shaping story I discovered recently. I found the story while reading a book by Max Lucado entitled In the Eye of the Storm.

"Clovis Chappell, a minister from a century back, used to tell the story of two paddleboats. They left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they traveled, the sailors from one vessel made a few remarks about the snail's pace of the other. Words were exchanged. Challenges were made. And the race began. Competition became vicious as the two boats roared through the Deep South.

One boat began falling behind. Not enough fuel. There was plenty of coal for the trip but not enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor tossed some of the ship's cargo into the ovens. When the sailors saw that the supplies had burned, as well as the coal, they fueled their boat with the cargo and material they were contracted to transport. They ended up winning the race but burned their cargo.”

Lucado goes on to say, 

“God has entrusted cargo to us, too - children, spouses, friends. Our job is to do our part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination. Yet when the program takes priority over people, people often suffer. How much cargo do we sacrifice to achieve the number one slot? How many people never reach the destination because of the aggressiveness of a competitive captain?”

I admit stories like this make me uncomfortable. I'm a type-A person. I like to go from A to B. I'm not naturally a 'stop by the side of the road person and smell the flowers' type of person. There's work to be done, mountains to climb, races to race in, and victories to achieve. I'm not generally competitive with others. I don't like to underachieve. My race is with myself.

However, I see the point Lucado is making. I have no desire to burn my cargo to win the race. Sometimes, saying no to the important and yes to the vital is wise. It's OK to say no to a good opportunity and say yes to a better one. My wife Becky helps me with this. When it comes to helping others, I’m reasonably wise. When it comes to myself, I have the wisdom of a turnip. Sound familiar?

I have the opportunity to minister and speak all over the world. There is almost always someone inviting me to come to their church or conference. It’s wonderful. It fuels me. But good things taken to extremes can become bad things. There are times when the vital comes along. I have delegated my wife Becky to tell me, "Ed, that's too much. You are traveling too much. You'll miss something with our family or me that is more important." In other words, if left to myself, I will burn the cargo to win the race. Thank God for the 'Beckys' that bring people like me back to reality.

Jesus did this. Many times, he could have gone on healing, gone on feeding people experiencing poverty, gone on teaching, and gone on doing good stuff. But there were other times when Jesus dismissed himself from the crowds. Why? He needed to pray. Jesus wasn’t selfish. He knew what was vital when it was vital.

Life consists of two main elements: relationship and task. We can be 'high relationship/low task.' That's when we like everyone, and everyone will like us, but we are staying in Memphis. Then there's 'high task/low relationship.' We will get to New Orleans but burn our cargo, forcing everyone else to jump into the Mississippi River and swim for their lives. Then there is the 'low relationship/low task' approach to life. We will never get out of Memphis, but everyone else is gone. Why? They boarded another boat to go to New Orleans. The last option is what Jesus did. We adopt a 'high relationship/high task' approach to life. We run our race and still have many people and cargo on board when we arrive in New Orleans. That’s a win-win for everyone.

So, my question for you today is this. Are you currently burning the cargo on the ship of your life or your family’s life? Are you compromising your character (burning the cargo) to win in a cause or career you are running in? If so, are you willing to change directions? The choices we make don’t make us. The choices we make reveal us.  

My advice for quality life is this: When handling others, use your heart. When handling yourself, use your head. In other words, do what is vital when it’s vital for you and others around you.