In Search Of Contentment

Here’s a quote for you to consider this week. It was discovered amid a wall of graffiti in London, England. “I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.” In other words, “I was much more content having less than when I had more of what I thought I wanted then. Now that I have what I wanted, I’ve traded my contentment for discontent, disillusionment, and frustration." Welcome to the lifestyles of those who, at best, have or have not achieved their goals, yet are still discontented and frustrated. 

Talking about London, England, at the end of the 1960s, the Rolling Stones released a song called You Can’t Always Get What You Want, the last song on their album entitled Beggars Banquet. American Songwriter says the following about You Can’t Always Get What You Want. 

“It’s notable that the song was added to the end of a decade where much of the younger generation’s idealism had given way to frustration and disillusionment. Mick Jagger was the song’s primary writer. If he was trying to sum up the zeitgeist (defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history, as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time), well, he’s far too coy to admit it. But it’s undeniable that You Can’t Always Get What You Want tapped into the same vein as other decade-ending songs like Bridge Over Troubled Water or Let It Be in that it served as a balm of sorts for wounded hearts and souls.” 

Incidentally, the first song on the Beggars Banquet album is called Let It Bleed, an apparent reference to Let It Be.  

Jagger begins the song with the chorus. "You can't always get what you want (three times)/ But if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need." The wisdom of those lyrics is quite striking. It acknowledges that no group or person always gets everything they want and that contentment - being at peace with oneself and others, even if one didn't get what they wanted - is what truly matters.

Let’s look at one verse in “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” “And I went down to the demonstration to get my fair share of abuse, singing, 'We're gonna’ vent our frustration, if we don’t, we're gonna’ blow a fifty-amp fuse.’ Sing it to me, honey. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need.” In effect, the people at the protest were saying, “Do what I tell you and give me everything I want and take care of me while I judge everything you do.” It’s fine to protest, but don’t get carried away if you don’t get everything you want. Constant craving for what is not robs us of the ability to enjoy and celebrate what is.      

Whether it is in the 1960s or 2020s, many of us go wildly awry in search of some personal achievement or cause that is only bound to bring heartbreak. Sometimes our goals outstrip our reach. The chorus suggests that there is no shame in settling. If anything, it might be the path to true contentment. And believe me, what we need is contentment. That’s called growing up before you grow old.  

The American Songwriter summarizes the song as follows: “The man who once sang I Can’t Get No Satisfaction had now concluded that You Can’t Always Get What You Want. When newspeople confronted Jagger with this, he pointed out the different perspective in the lyrics as being key. “Now you also can’t get what you want,” he said at the time of the song’s release. “The same goes for me. I’m saying the same thing as when I said, ‘I can’t get no satisfaction,’ only articulated differently.”

Think of it. No person, movement, or country should get everything they want or everything their way. Why? Because there will never be enough. That’s what the movie The Greatest Showman is all about. 

The first song in the film is about all the dreams, things, fame, fortune, money, and family that a very young P.T. Barnum is going to have. He gets everything he wants, and then comes the song, There Will Never Be Enough. He was discontented because, despite having everything, there was still more. Then his wife and two children leave him. Eventually, after Barnum is broken, his family is reunited. Barnum learned that there would never be enough for what he wanted, but he found what he needed: his family. 

May I phrase it this way? Contentment is what everyone is seeking. Money, respect, pleasure, getting your way, success, ambition, and so on, are only the paths people take to achieve contentment. Hint: There will never be enough. Making more money does not boost happiness. Being rich is something we either possess or lack within ourselves. Don't let what is not pull you into a winter of discontent. When all you see is what you want, you can't know what you need, and what we think is superior often ends in disappointment. Discerning what is more is simple. Discerning what is better is hard. 

Contentment comes from God. It’s an inside job. It’s deep stuff, not surface stuff. It’s calm in the midst of a storm. Contentment comes from the trusting, God-centered, and self-giving hearts of ordinary people. Contentment is not giving up or quitting, it’s giving in to what you need. And that’s God.