Legacy – More Than An Inheritance

The following are some things I said a month ago at my father’s funeral. I hope this inspires and challenges you. 

On behalf of our whole family, I would like to thank you for honoring Dad with your presence. He would be delighted. Dad was born in Phoenix, Arizona, in May 1924. Yes, you heard that correctly. Dad is a native of Phoenix. Dad’s seen Phoenix grow from 30,000 to 5.5 million people.  

Dad had his home-going two months short of 102 years of age. That’s quite an accomplishment. My friend, Bob Loeb, and I did some research on the odds of men reaching age 101. Here's what we found. For every 10,000 men born, only 1-3 men will reach the age of 101.

Here’s a great thought for you. “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body but rather to skid in broadside, dents on the hood, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming… "Wow...what a ride!"

There is a one-liner in the movie Braveheart that says, “All men die: Not all men truly live.” There’s no doubt Dad (Pop Pop to his grandchildren) was in the second category. Just look at his obituary in the newspaper. The activity in that obit makes coffee nervous. When God made Pop Pop, God said, “I’ll never do that again!” I think God made Dad on the 8^th day.

So, this home-going service is about honoring and celebrating a man who is like Abraham in the Old Testament. “And Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people (family and nation).” Genesis 25:8. That’s as good as life gets on the earth side of eternity. 

This service is the Perfect Commencement for a loved one who has died. Let's celebrate, remember, and honor Dad. After flying for 24 hours from Napier, New Zealand, where I was speaking at Engage Church, to get back to Phoenix, I sat alone for 20 minutes with Dad after he died, and all I could think of to say to my father was, "Thank you" and "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." Our loss is heaven's gain. 

Yes, we are sad, but we are also glad: Pop Pop is in God’s arms, and we have Pop Pop in our hearts. Dad is alive in heaven and in our thoughts and memories. He has touched us, and we have grown. I realize that my father's homegoing is not the norm. I wish his type of homegoing were everyone's experience. But no matter when a loved one passes away, they are still alive in our thoughts and memories. 

Please allow me to share briefly about the subject of grief with our family and your families. Grief never ends. But it changes. Grief is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. Grief is the price of love. Grief is a giant neon sign, protruding through everything, pointing everywhere, broadcasting loudly, "Love was here." And in a softer voice, grief quietly says, "Love still is."  

So, understand that grief is a process, not an event. Family and friends, here's my advice: Keep living day by day until you feel alive again. For some, feeling alive again may be for a short time; for others, a long time. Keep on keeping on. Get help if you need it.

When I think of Dad, I think of legacy. What’s a legacy?

"Something handed down from the past, an ancestor, or a predecessor, including money, property, or intangible assets like traditions and reputation. Legacy broadly encompasses the lasting impact, consequences, or cultural heritage left for future generations." The whole idea of legacy is for future generations to carry it forward.  

Some people give an inheritance; others give a legacy. Dad gave us more than one real legacy. Live your legacy and make the world a better place, both now and in the future. 

Here are some of the legacies Pop Pop left for us, for our benefit and for future generations.

1. A Legacy of Family. Your family name matters. Dad loved the grandchildren as much as Mom. When granddaughter Trina was born, she had holes in her lungs. My Dad insisted on riding in the back of the ambulance with Trina to the hospital. A few days ago, when they took Dad to hospice, Trina insisted on riding in the back of the ambulance with Dad. That’s legacy! 

2. A Legacy of Work Hard with Lots of Love. I like that. When we kids were young, and we wanted to play, Dad would say, “We work first, then we will play.” And we did. That’s a great both/and legacy.  

3. A Legacy of Character. Dad was a character with character because character matters. Honesty is the best policy. Honesty creates trust and favor with God and people.

4. A Legacy of the Sample and Example. The right stuff will produce the right stuff if what we say is what we do. Be a great person to emulate. 

5. A Legacy of Serving and Giving Back to the Community. We rise by lifting others. My mother and father’s gift to ASU West Endowments is a legacy that will carry on to students with ethics for a long time.  

6. A Financial Legacy/Inheritance based on traditional ethics. “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” Proverbs 13:22. This means righteousness and wisdom lead to long-term, generational planning, rather than immediate consumption.  

 7. A Spiritual Legacy. My mother and father started attending All Saints Episcopal Church in the 1950’s. Dad holds the church record: He served for 50 consecutive years as usher at the 11:00 PM Christmas Eve service at All Saints. He also served on the Vestry.

What's our takeaway? Everyone wants to know that their life counted and will be remembered. Why not start now with one of those legacies and create something great to remember?