Fixing Your ‘Radiate–tor’

Let's start today with a concept attributed to Mother Teresa by some. Her attitude, passion, compassion, work ethic, and unwavering belief in God have inspired the whole world.

"Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is a duty; complete it. Life is sorrow; overcome it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is a struggle; accept it. Life is a tragedy; confront it. Life is beautiful, take time to admire it." 

I recently met with my friend Don Kraft, and he added two more thoughts about this. "Life is an opportunity; seize it. Life is chaos, organize it."

I like this word challenge for us. It's authentic, and it's inspiring. It's realistic about the present but makes a way for the future. The challenge states, “This door may be shut, but there is another door that opened the moment the first door shut.” It adjusts our attitude and outlook. It says the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. We all need that message.  

Today, many people are disappointed and disillusioned with life. Life's experiences have hardened many older people. Many middle-aged people put their hope in the American Dream and are now living a nightmare. The younger crowd believes that the world revolves around them, and that they “have a right” or are “entitled to everything going their way.” These young people don't just want green grass in a field. They must have green grass, with a flowery carpet, and a shiny unicorn with a designer hat on the unicorn's head. They radiate, "Wait until the world sees how amazing I am, I'm special, it’s all about me.” 

What happens when we have a culture that projects and demands, "I do life my way; I have to get my way," and then we don't? Frustration, apathy, discontentment, self-pity, isolation, and anger. Really, these preceding issues come from control issues. Things are out of control, and they feel unsafe. Having unrealistic expectations affects people: their outlook, countenance, happiness, and attitude. The problem is that experiences like misery, rejection, bitterness, and self-absorption radiate and spread to others, attracting more people with the same issues. 

Let’s explore The Radiation Principle. Author Dave Grant enlightens us. "The Radiation Principle simply means that the kind of people we attract is determined by what we radiate in our attitudes, values, and personality." A good example of The Radiation Principle is this: “Tom calls Sally and says, 'You probably don't want to go out on this date with me, do you?” Nine out of ten times, Sally will say no. Tom radiated rejection, and that's what he received.

In other words, when people radiate bitterness, they attract bitter people. When people radiate selfishness, they attract selfish people. If we radiate negative attitudes, we will attract negative people. Cain, the brother in the Bible who killed his brother Abel because of jealousy and bitterness, built the first city in the Bible. Cain felt God rejected him. Can you imagine the residents of that city, a city full of victims and rejection? Why? We get what we radiate. And that’s the nitty-gritty of living in pity city. (Genesis 4:17)

Fortunately, and conversely, what you radiate works positively too. When we radiate love, we attract loving people. When we radiate a genuine interest in others, we attract people who will find us interesting. When we radiate real concern for others, we will attract people who are genuinely concerned for us (my recently deceased father was a perfect example of this). 

My father had a great vibe and charisma. Others of the same ilk were attracted to him, and he to them. He was always surrounded by people who loved to follow him, even when he was 101. I called these people 'The Team.' Why did they still love being with him? You get what you radiate, even when you’re old.  

How would you, readers, rate yourselves after learning The Radiation Principle? Are others naturally attracted to you? Are you well-liked? If these answers to these questions show you need some improvement, John Maxwell, in his book, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, reveals to us some roadblocks to getting back to where you belong. 

“Pride. Nobody wants to follow a leader (person) who thinks they are better than everyone else. Insecurity. If you are uncomfortable with who you are, others will be too. Moodiness. If people never know what to expect from you, they stop expecting anything. Perfectionism. People respect a desire for excellence, but dread totally unrealistic expectations. Cynicism. People don't want to be rained on by someone who sees a cloud around every silver lining." If you stay away from these qualities, you can radiate to others just like you. 

Remember my article a few weeks ago. We grow by removing and replacing what hinders growth. Why not employ The Radiation Principle to work for you, rather than against you? A good vibe can be both natural to a person and learned. Change your focus; organize the chaos! What kinds of people do we want to attract? How do we want people to treat us? When we've determined that, begin treating others in that way.

There now. Wasn’t that refreshing?