Marriage: The Peaceful Coexistence of Two Nervous Systems
By Ed Delph
July 9, 2018
Today I'm feeling brave so we here go! I’m going to address marriage. Let’s start with some stories and quotes on marriage, then get to the point.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought for a moment and then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" Enough said.
“Marriage is the world’s most expensive way of discovering your faults.”
“Opposites attract and that’s too bad.”
“Love is grand. Divorce is one hundred grand.”
“Marriage is a union that defies management.”
“It would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.”
“Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.”
“All marriages are alike in certain disrespects.”
Now some more reflective quotes on marriage.
“Marriage has different attractions for different people. Those who marry for love want something wonderful and they sometimes get it. The people who marry because they want to escape something usually don’t.”
“People who are searching for the ideal mate rarely stop to ask themselves why such a paragon would be interested in them.”
One thing is for sure, marriage isn’t a battle somebody is supposed to win. Deb Graham shares an observation about her parent’s marriage we could learn from. In marriage or any relationship, the same issue can be a deal breaker or a deal maker. Don't put the key to your happiness into anyone's pocket but your own. The choices you make, make you.
"When I was a little girl, my mother liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my father.
I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my father did was reach for his toast, smile at my mother, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mother apologize to my dad for burning the toast. However, I'll never forget what he said in response. 'Baby, I love burned toast.'
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night, and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides, a little burnt toast never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. True love is always imperfect. Also, I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.'
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Burnt toast should never be a deal breaker. We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it husband-wife, parent-child, or any friendship!"
A man God greatly used in the Bible named Paul spoke to married men this way concerning those burnt toast days: "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church - a love marked by giving, not getting." That's God and good advice for all times.
Ed Delph CCC July 9, 2018 Story by Deb Graham crosswalk.com Eph. 5:25 Message Bible
Ed Delph is a leader in church-community connections.
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