Imagine if the Media Were Fair
By Doug Patton
September 22, 2008
As I watched ABC's Charlie Gibson play gotcha with Gov. Sarah Palin by asking her about "the Bush Doctrine" as though it were something we all learned in grade school, like the Monroe Doctrine, I found myself wondering what interviews with Barack Obama and Joe Biden might look like if the mainstream media were really as fair and unbiased as they like to pretend they are. Imagine some of the questions Obama and Biden might be asked if Charles Gibson or anyone at ABC (Adoring Barack Corporation) had an ounce of objectivity.
To Obama: On the campaign trail, you made the following statement: "I've been to 57 states, and I have one more to go." Senator, do you know how many states there are in the United States?
To Obama: During a recent interview with George Stephanopoulos, you made reference to "my Muslim faith." After Stephanopoulos corrected you, you said, "My Christian faith." Senator, why are you ashamed to admit you are a Muslim?
To Biden: During a recent campaign event in Missouri, you asked Congressman Chuck Graham, who is wheelchair-bound, to "Stand up, Chuck!" Were you making a tasteless joke or are you simply obtuse?
To Obama: Your brother George lives on less than a dollar a month in a hut in Kenya while you live a millionaire's lifestyle in Washington and in Chicago. Do you know if he had anything to eat today? Why was he quoted as saying that he is ashamed to be related to you?
To Obama: In light of Gov. Palin's choice to keep her newborn baby, Trig, who has Down syndrome, would you like to retract your insensitive comment that you wouldn't want one of your daughters "punished with a baby"? And by the way, as a father, which one of your daughters do you consider to have been a punishment? And if children are a punishment, who is it coming from? Is God punishing you and your wife by giving you two children?
To Biden: In your first speech after Barack Obama chose you as his running mate, you referred to him as "Barack America." Do you think of Sen. Obama as a super hero? Do you have a man crush on him?
To Obama: During your introduction of Joe Biden after naming him as your running mate, you referred to him as "the next president." Do you believe this ticket is upside down?
To Obama: You sat in the pews at Trinity United Church of Christ for twenty years. Do you really expect voters to believe that you never heard any of the radical rants of Jeremiah Wright during all that time?
To Biden: On the campaign trail recently, you stated, "Hillary Clinton is as qualified - or more qualified - to be president than I am. And frankly, she might have been a better choice." Senator, are you planning on stepping down from the ticket?
To Obama: What is your relationship with convicted felon Tony Rezko? Was there illegal activity involved in what many are calling your questionable land deal with Rezko?
To Obama: You are "friendly" with former Weather Underground leader William Ayres. What is the nature of your relationship, and given Ayres previous attempts at murderous collusion, what could you possibly have in common with this man who harbors such hatred for America? Do you consider your dealings with this self-admitted domestic terrorist as experience in the War on Terror, much like community organizing is equivalent to military service?
And finally, to Obama: Senator, do you really think you have the experience to be president of the United States?
The Democratic ticket is a walking gaffe machine with a record so liberal there is no other way to describe their agenda than to call is what it is: socialism. These are just a few of the many questions that would be asked of Barack Obama and Joe Biden if the media were fair. But they are not fair, and the fact that John McCain and Sarah Palin are now pulling into the lead in the polls is proof of the weakness of the Democrats' ticket.
Doug Patton describes himself as a recovering political speechwriter who agrees with himself more often than not. His weekly columns are syndicated by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. Readers are encouraged to email him at email@example.com/or to follow him on Twitter at @Doug_Patton.