Barack Obama's Dream Cabinet
By Doug Patton
November 3, 2008
If the elite media and their skewed polls are to be believed, Barack Obama will be the 44th president of the United States. If that is the case, let us imagine for a moment what an Obama administration might look like if this radical leftist actually were to follow his heart and appoint people to his cabinet who share his view of the world. Here, then, are some highlights of some key members of Barack Obama's possible dream cabinet (in alphabetical order).
Secretary of Agriculture - U.S. Sen. Tom Harkin would be the logical choice here. Harkin, a far-left Iowa Democrat who has served as chairman of the Senate Agriculture Committee, has never met an ag subsidy he didn't love.
Attorney General - If Obama thought he could get away with it, he probably would place his wife, Michelle in this position, just as President John F. Kennedy did with his brother, Bobby. However, U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy of the Peoples' Republic of Vermont would be equally vigilant on behalf of the rights of criminals and would therefore be a suitable second choice.
Secretary of Defense - How about U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, who, while running for president himself, once proposed a "Department of Peace"? (What Dennis the Menace has never understood is that the funny-looking five-sided building across the Potomac is our department of peace.)
Secretary of Education - The obvious choice for this post is Professor William Ayers from the University of Illinois. This man is considered to be an expert in the field of education. He has written 17 books and is highly respected within the academic community. He is well known to Barack Obama, having served on at least two boards with him. He is also a self-proclaimed Marxist, anarchist and domestic terrorist who brags about having set off bombs at the Pentagon, the U.S. Capitol building and at New York City police headquarters. He and Barack Obama share a desire to pollute young American minds with leftist propaganda.
Secretary of Energy - Perhaps President Obama could get former Vice President Al Gore to fill this important post. Gore could just shut down what's left of our refineries and grind the nation to a halt. Of course, it's going to be hard to blame that on the Republicans if they are not in power. Oh well, they'll think of something.
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Is Jack Kevorkian still alive? Old Jack really would be perfect to carry out Obama's creepy anti-life policies.
Secretary of Homeland Security - As long as we have Bill Ayers in the cabinet, why not include his lovely wife, Bernadine Dohrn? Another domestic terrorist, Dohrn actually did prison time for her crimes.
Secretary of State - Without question, the state department is the most visible cabinet post in any administration, and no one personifies Barack Obama's view of American foreign policy better than Noam Chomsky, professor emeritus at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Chomsky is widely known as a political dissident, anarchist and socialist intellectual. Beginning with his opposition to the Vietnam War, Chomsky has established himself as a harsh critic of American foreign policy. He would be the perfect secretary of state to carry out Barack Obama's feeble foreign policy initiatives.
Secretary of the Treasury - Although Obama has mentioned Warren Buffet as a potential treasury secretary, why go with George Soros light when you can have the real deal? Given the opportunity, why wouldn't Obama offer the job to the crazy, Hungarian-born billionaire who has invested so much in getting him elected?
For White House Budget Director, Prez Obama might have a tough choice between two highly qualified members of the U.S. House of Representatives, namely Charlie Rangel and Barney Frank. Rangel, of course, is the black congressman from Harlem and current chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee. He once equated tax cuts with racism. His appointment would fill a race quota. Then there's Frank, of Massachusetts, who was at the heart of the debacle with sub-prime mortgages that eventually brought down Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. His presence in an Obama administration would fill a gay quota. (Appearances are everything to Dems, you know.)
Then there are the eventual Supreme Court appointments, but I can't even allow myself to focus on any names beyond Hillary Clinton. Who knows? Obama might even get this motley crew approved by a Democrat Senate.
Doug Patton describes himself as a recovering political speechwriter who agrees with himself more often than not. His weekly columns are syndicated by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. Readers are encouraged to email him at firstname.lastname@example.org/or to follow him on Twitter at @Doug_Patton.