What's in Your Diary?
By Ed Delph
April 5, 2021
Here's a great illustration I found on the internet of two different perspectives - one coming from Venus (a feminine perspective) and the other from Mars (a masculine perspective). One is called The Wife's Diary. The other is called The Husband's Diary.
The Wife’s Diary.
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. The conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, 'I love you' too.
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched television. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About fifteen minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
The Husband’s Diary.
A two-foot putt. Who the #*#%! misses a two-foot putt?
Five years ago, my wife Becky and I had a similar diary story when we were selling our home and looking for a new home at the same time. Here’s what she posted on her Facebook page.
Well, as of last night, we have a contract on our house. We haven't found a house to move to yet, so I'm in bed with my mind racing, thinking, “OK, our daughter and her husband said we could stay with them, but we could stay with Ed's father, but Ed needs internet for his work. Where are we going to put all the stuff we have to pack?” So, I couldn't fall asleep. I got up, did some stuff, and finally fell asleep sometime after 2:00 AM.
Today Ed and I were sitting in the family room, and Ed was strangely quiet, so I assumed he was thinking about the upcoming move. I said, “Whatcha thinkin?” Ed says, “I can't believe Jeff Gordon blew winning that Nascar race yesterday!” I replied, “Oh my gosh, you are such a guy!"
Becky had thirty-seven likes and twenty comments on her Facebook in an hour (mostly girls). The lesson here is don't get all steamed up when you don't know what's cooking. To be fair to Becky, she has a straightforward thought about the Venus and Mars idea. "Humm, women are from Venus, and men are from Mars. No, you're both from earth. Deal with it." That's my Becky.
This phenomenon also happens with God and us human beings. But it’s not about Venus and Mars issues. It's with heaven and earth issues. Here’s another diary example of us humans and our conversations with ourselves and God. I’ll call it Our Diary and God’s Dairy.
Dear God, our world's falling apart, things are terrible, everything is out of control, I can't cope, there's no hope, things will never change, we can’t recover from this, it’s the end of the world.
Wouldn't you agree that we all have had diaries like this in times of crisis and ambiguity?
Dear Person: Yes, I understand the way you feel. I am God! I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help. Have a good day.
Wow, God is such a Guy! Do you know what? It may seem like things are out of control, but God is in control. Here’s another diary I gleaned from Pastor Andy Stanley illustrating just that.
Sometimes, I just want it to stop - the talk of COVID, looting, brutality. I lose my way. I become convinced that this 'new normal' is real life. Then I meet an 87-year-old who talks of living through polio, diphtheria, Vietnam protests, and yet is still enchanted with his life.
He seemed surprised when I said that 2020 must be incredibly challenging for him. “No,” he said slowly, looking me straight in the eyes. "I learned a long time ago not to see the world through the headlines. I see the world through the people that surround me. I see the world with the realization that we love big. Therefore, I choose to write my own headlines: 'Husband loves wife today.' 'Family drops everything to come to Grandma's bedside.' He patted my hand. 'Old man makes a new friend.'"
His words collide with my worries, freeing them from the tether I had been holding tight. They float away. I'm left with a renewed spirit and a new way to write my own headlines.
What's in your diary today? Who’s in your headlines today?
Ed Delph is a leader in church-community connections.
Visit Ed Delph's website at www.nationstrategy.com