Six Whimsical Snippets Requiring No Explanation
By Ed Delph
July 11, 2022
I thought it would be interesting to share six short whimsical stories with loud and clear messages, written by others. All I can say is read, grow, and enjoy. Oh, one more thing, don’t say to yourself, “My friend, my colleague, or my family member, really needs this story. It would help them so much.” The issue is not ‘them.’ Each story is for you first, and then 'them.' In other words, if the shoe fits, wear it. So, grab a cup of coffee and read on.
Here’s the first story. It is in the form of a poem.
I was shocked, confused, and bewildered, as I entered Heaven's door,
not by the beauty of it all, nor by the lights or decor.
The folks in Heaven made me sputter and gasp -
the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash.
There stood a kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor, who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal? I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake.
And why’s everyone so quiet, so somber – give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He, "They're all in shock. No one thought they would ever see you."
(J. Taylor Ludwig)
Here’s the second short story. Tom and John were friends. One day they were passing through a dense forest. John said, “Friend, I am afraid there are wild beasts in this forest. What will we do if a wild beast attacks us?” “Don’t be afraid, John,” said Tom, “I shall stand by your side if any danger comes. We shall fight together and save ourselves.” Then they went on their journey.
Suddenly they saw a bear coming towards them. Tom instantly climbed the nearest tree. He did not think about what his friend would do. John didn't know how to climb a tree. He was helpless. Not knowing what to do, he fell flat on the ground like a dead man. The bear came up to John. It smelled his nose, ears, and eyes. Finally, it took him to be dead and went away.
When Tom came down from the tree, he asked John, “What did the bear whisper in your ear?” John replied, “The bear told me not to trust a friend who leaves his friend in danger.” Thank goodness for bears who are discriminating in their taste.
Here’s the third short story. A medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Then, approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade. "Do you know the X-ray you took of yourself?" asked the professor. "I do," said the student. "A fine picture," the professor said, "of your lungs, stomach, and liver." "If it's a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?" asked the student. "I had no choice," said the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it."
Speaking about putting your heart into something, check out the fourth short story. Here are some real examples of what people wrote on their resumes about why they left their last job. "They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those circumstances." Here's another one. "The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers." Steven Wright quipped that many people believe ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Also, he remarked that hard work pays off in the future, and laziness pays off now.
Here is the fifth short story. There were two old guys, Abe, and Ken, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Then Abe turns to Ken and says, "Do you think there is baseball in heaven?" Ken thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I don't know, Abe. But let's make a deal. If I die first, I will come back and tell you. If you die first, come back and tell me if there is baseball in heaven."
They shake on it, and, sadly, a few months later, Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Ken is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Ken, Ken!" Ken responds, "Abe, is that you?" "Yes, it is, Ken," whispers the spirit of old Abe. Ken, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news, and I have bad news." "Give the good news first," says Ken. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in heaven." Ken says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday!"
Now the last story. A couple had been married for 40 years as they celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that she would give them each one wish because they had been such a loving couple all those years. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand; boom, she had tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused briefly and then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and boom, he was 90. And all the women say, “Amen!”
There you go, have a great week.
Ed Delph is a leader in church-community connections.
Visit Ed Delph's website at www.nationstrategy.com