Seven Things You Can't Say in Public

"I believe in American exceptionalism."

We are not supposed to believe in that archaic notion any longer. We are not supposed to notice the difference between our economy and, say, Mozambique's or Norway's. We are not supposed to believe that America can change the world, as we did in World War II. We are not supposed to even try to help others realize freedom, as we have done in Latin America and we are trying to do in the Middle East. The political left has largely won this debate- to the point that even average citizens no longer believe that America is fulfilling a destiny or is special in any way.

"Islam is a warrior religion."

Oh boy. Here we go. Violent protests are already being organized at just the mere mention that Islam is not a "peaceful religion." Study the Islamic religion, learn about Mohammad's life, and learn about what the Hadith (Traditions) teaches Muslims about how Mohammed lived and how they should live. Then go public with your new-found knowledge and see how long your head stays attached to your neck. Okay, seriously, that's only if you live in Europe. Fortunately, most Muslims here practice their own kinder, gentler, mutated version where they disregard many of the Islamic teachings- for now.

"Homosexuality is perversion."

The use of the term "perversion" implies that there is morality; morality implies that there is a higher law; a higher law implies- you get the idea. Now it's just a choice, like being in Albertson's or Winn Dixie and choosing Provolone over mozzarella. And what better way to pretend that it's a choice than to portray male homosexuals as caring, monogamous souls who just have different feelings. Oh, and don't mention the statistics on male homosexual promiscuity rates.

"We were right to go to Vietnam."

Get laughed out of your next party by pointing out this little gem. You won't be able to blame the ignorance of your friends on the fact that the Soviet empire is long gone and memories have faded. Most people believe that we were wrong to go to Vietnam- even thirty years ago, after the evidence of our political failure could be reviewed. Learn about what happened after we pulled out: the killing fields, the full takeover by the communists, their exodus to the States. Fortunately, despite the best work of the 1960's and '70's dope smokers in and out of Congress, we did at least slow the Russian bear.

"The cop should have hit him again."

Okay, so this one may be controversial. It's not that excessive force by police is good; it's how we define excessive force. If a police officer says, "Get down on the ground," then here's a little tip: get down on the ground. If he says, "Get out of the car," then get out of the car. I know that's a little tough for some people to understand, but it would drastically cut down on your odds of being the "victim" of excessive force by an officer of the law. And yes, sometimes they should just hit the suspects again.

"Oprah has no political insight worth evaluating."

Good interviewer? Yes. Entertaining? Yes. Particularly gifted with powers of analysis? Hardly. She supports Barack Obama- that tells you right there about her socialistic economic views and elitist views toward average citizens. She may be an intelligent woman, but she has said little to separate herself from the average loud-mouthed Hollywood actor and '60's-retread activist.

"In Jesus' name."

There is only one public place that I know of where these horrible, divisive, frightening words are uttered: before some NASCAR races, at the end of the prayer. Imagine the horror that parents must feel when their young crumb crunchers are exposed to such angry words. Therapy will be sure to follow for the little tots.

But the therapy will not help.