Has Anybody Told Bill?

March 3, 2002

by Charles E. Perry

There is an unwritten rule, followed by previous presidents, that the outgoing president will keep his big mouth shut for the first year of a new president’s term. It’s supposed to give the new president some time to get started without the former leader of the free world offering any criticism. Given the actions of Bill Clinton, our former Adulterer-in-Chief, I have to wonder: Has anybody told Bill?

It’s not bad enough that this semantic gymnast, fined for perjury by a judge while in office, made us a laughingstock around the world while he sat in the Oval Office, now he has to bad mouth us to the world from retirement. At a speech in Australia, this brain damaged moron from the wilds of Arkansas said that while we were the pre-eminent nation of the world now, it couldn’t last, and we ought to turn our foreign policy into mealy-mouthed appeasement to prepare for the day when we weren’t the big guy on the block.

Well gee, Bill, everybody knows that empires eventually fall. Rome didn’t last forever, nor did Britain, and neither will we. But if you want to speed up the process of our fall, your plan is custom tailored to do it. Empires don’t give in, Bill. Empires set the rules, and other nations follow them or else. Bill said that our pre-eminence could only last a "few decades." Well, it began after World War II, so it’s lasted five decades already, and shows no sign of weakening so long as we don’t let incompetent boobs like Bill destroy our military.

Okay, he bad mouthed the nation he led, and that was bad enough, but that wasn’t all the Perjurer-in-Chief did. He also stuck his snoot into foreign policy, saying Bush was wrong to list North Korea in with the axis of evil. Sure he was, Bill, and you didn’t know who Monica Lewinsky was after leaving a very personal stain on her dress.

Bill said that North Korea has stopped research into building atomic bombs. Right, and if you believe that, I still have that ocean front property in Nevada to sell. I suppose it never occurred to this hick buffoon that even if North Korea did stop, it was only because they figured out how to build one. The hick from Hope apparently loves communism so much he can’t even consider the idea that a commie nation might have ulterior motives. Pardon me if I don’t want to be that gullible.

Bill also said that they had stopped research into missiles that could fly over two thousand miles. Sure they have. I believe it. Why research it when they can buy the technology from China, who bought it from Bill Clinton? Yeah, that’s right, there’s evidence that our very own presidential Aaron Burr sold our missile secrets to the Chinese so we have to figure that every unrepentant commie nation in the world, including North Korea, has them now.

But all that aside, foreign policy is the kind of thing a former president is supposed to shut his big mouth about, and even supporters of the former Adulterer-in-Thief must admit he isn’t that bright. So somebody get to Bill Clinton, and tell him to shut his stupid mouth before he shoves his foot so far down he’ll need a proctologist to extract it.

Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you.

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Charles E. Perry is a freelance writer living in Michigan. He has done a variety of things in his life, including Ward Supervisor at the State of Michigan's Maximum Security Mental Facility. His degree is in accounting, but he discovered writing and now spends his time hunched over a keyboard, hollow-eyed, looking for just the right word. Perry is the author of "How Government Should Work: A Look at the Federalist Papers and the Constitution of the United States," currently pending publication.

Send the author an E mail at Perry@ConservativeTruth.org.

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