Let’s Not Tell Harley

March 24, 2002

by Charles E. Perry

This issue’s column isn’t about politics. It isn’t even about one of the burning issues of the day. I was staring at my blank computer screen, wondering what words I could type that would make sense and entertain at the same time. It suddenly struck me that I could just have fun once in a while, and let my readers know a bit more about me at the same time. So this column is about my cat, Harley.

First off, let’s not tell her that Harley is a boy’s name. It’s been her name for a long time, and I see no reason to confuse her at this point. When I got her, 12 years ago by stopping at a "free kittens" sign, I was in the mood to have a cat named Harley, so that’s who she became. Her brother, a cute little tuxedo cat, became Sunday in honor of another tuxedo cat I once had of the same name. Sunday has since passed on because of a bad heart, but Harley remains.

Harley is gray, which isn’t as dull as it sounds because she has orange flecks mixed in with the gray. She has a white ruff on her chest and (I swear this is true) a pink stripe runs up her nose. She adores people, and will sit in just about anybody’s lap purring madly away while she kneads their flesh with her sharp little claws. It’s kind of fun watching her do it to salesmen. Lately, though, I’ve noticed that hardly any salesmen stop by, so maybe the word has gotten out.

She doesn’t much care for Bill Clinton, and hisses at him when he’s on TV. I promise I didn’t teach her to do that, folks, she just picked it up on her own. It might be fun to see what she would do to Bill if he dropped by, but I doubt if it would be anything drastic. On the TV, he’s only a few inches tall. In real life his size would probably intimidate her, and she’d just fall back on the kneading and purring thing. Cats can be sneaky when it comes to inflicting pain.

Well, that’s about it for this week. Maybe I gave you a better idea of who I am or maybe I didn’t. At least now you know that I have a cat named Harley who, by the way, has been more faithful to me than my ex-wife ever was, and who is more loving than my current girlfriend. I may not have a current girlfriend after this column is published ...

_________________________________________

Charles E. Perry is a freelance writer living in Michigan. He has done a variety of things in his life, including Ward Supervisor at the State of Michigan's Maximum Security Mental Facility. His degree is in accounting, but he discovered writing and now spends his time hunched over a keyboard, hollow-eyed, looking for just the right word. Perry is the author of "How Government Should Work: A Look at the Federalist Papers and the Constitution of the United States," currently pending publication.

Send the author an E mail at Perry@ConservativeTruth.org.

For more of Charlie's articles, visit his archives.